Oops. Wrong blog. What shall I do?
Leave it, my friend. Hope it's of use to you.
Then call it serependipity, a lucky clog
Misplaced video makes an odder blog.
Poem On Cooking and Eating
by Angela Lansbury
I wish that I could learn to cook
Spend no less time writing a book
Or reading books. Let other cooks
Use aromas like a title's hook
May all book titles have a colour
Nothing bland, boring, duller
But instead, a strawberry red
As spicy as pepper, as soft as bed
All through the day I alternate
Writing and reading, food and drink
The hunger which makes me want to eat
Feeds my drooped brain, pushed to grow, create and think.
Angela Lansbury
First version reads
Then feeds my brain with the urge to think
Second version ends
Then feeds my brain urged to make and think.
Third version above.
I read in a book on songwriting that you should edit your first draft with surprising and contrasting words to make your song (or poem) original, memorable, not just doggerel.
However, adding adjectives, metaphors, removing a and the, sometimes spoils the flow.
I remember contradictory advice:
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Don't over-write. (In both senses: don't cross out, don't spend too much time changing your first thoughts. I often write a blog and add a sentence to the end of a paragraph. Then the following paragraph's first sentence does not follow on, because the last sentence of the preceding paragraph has now gone off at a tangent.
I leave both final sentences so you, or a later editor, can choose what goes best.
PS Adding a syllable to every line:
How I wish that I could learn to be a cook
But spend no less time on writing a book
Or reading books. So let some other cooks
Use aromas to tempt, like a titles' hooks
May all book titles have vivid colour
Nothing bland, boring, grown dry, or duller
But instead, a bright, slap, strawberry red
As spicy as pepper, soft as shared bed
Each day I yo-yo, forced to alternate
Writing and reading, stop for food and drink
The hunger which drives my strong urge to eat
Feeds my drooped brain, pushed to grow, create, think.
-ends-
