Two uncles who belonged to me
Were vegetarian with a small v
They argued and that puzzled me
What's Vegan? Spelled with a capital V!
They disagreed on what to eat
Though both agreed in horror seeing meat
Ron wouldn't have fish near his dish
Milk, yogurt, eggs, cheese - made Mo leave his seat
But soon I came to understand
That leather chairs and eating meat's been banned
They didn't just like food which was bland
My mum's funeral tea should've been planned
Ron didn't care about his health
Research said less meat, more fruit's good for minds
Poor people's food - now organic means wealth
That's true. No-one knew! But it grew by stealth
In wartime we ate dreadful Spam
Fresh chicken for the rich, plebs ate sliced ham
Meat sausages were a half bread scam
Now we're confused by turkey ham
At Easter time our diet begs
Don't feast on chocolate easter eggs
And worst of all, the dreadful habit
Of making children eat a chocolate rabbit
Cucumber sandwiches pleased aunts
Now menu writers must dance in a trance
First cows and pigs were replaced by cooked ants
Now menus offer 'meat' made from strange plants
We're invited out to a restaurant that's Indian
The biriani tastes of chicken
The menu describes what we eat as 'meat'
But it's tofu and plants, all vegetarian.
-ends-
Useful Websites
Vegetarian Products to buy, mock fish, mock meat, mock cheese
https://vbites.com/collections/all-products
Vegetarian Restaurant with mock meat menu
https://komalavilas.com.sg/
Written after eating at Kamala Vila, vegetarian restaurant at Little India, Singapore.
In memory of Uncle Ronnie, mother's brother, who was vegetarian, and Uncle Monty, who was vegan.
Angela Lansbury's late Uncle Ronald. Worked in the BBC radio orchestra. Also known as Arthur Gerard, musician and entertainer: - Performed at Hatfield House medieval banquets (as a strolling musician?). Appeared in pantomime. Was the conductor in a video with The Kinks. Colour-blind, sensitive, suicidal vegetarian.
Vegetable picture from istock. Also see Pixabay for free photos.
