Who Needs Another Name? comic poem 394 by Angela Lansbury

An Indian said, 'I have one name

And all my tribe are just the same

Why do I need a second name?'

Aghast, I hurried to explain

I've researched and it seems to me

One name reflects your pedigree

The other your personality

Or what your family want it to be.

Wiki picture of twins

I think a dog needs just one name

But if you add the family name

On it's dog collar, or a picture frame

Is lost and found just the same?

I really don't know how to begin

How would you name, if you had twins?

Like the Chinese, call them one and two

Number one son? Yes that would do.

We like to add a family name

When a child is lost at the airport

We can call the name of the mother

That is just my first, and second thought

Historically they passed a law

To change from one name as before

So they could tax, count folks, find more

No second, same name, on the door

A million Mohammeds, a million Patels

Would cause lots of confusion

And lots of Mister Wongs in Hong Kong

Checking passports, no conclusion

In the modern world you see

You need two names, don't you agree

Don't end up all confused, like me

But have your own identity

But you will have a better life

If husband shares a name with wife

A proud family, share a name

Children and parents, just the same

Then strangers say, I knew your mother

I know your father

I've met you brother

Was she your sister? How we've missed her!

And if you do not like your name

Or want to escape your reputation

You have a second name to use

Did you like my explanation?

Did I fulfil your expectation?

A second name reveals your nation

You can copy the name of a film star

Add another name, you'll go far.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury 27 March Wed 2024

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Any Other Nname? comic poem no 393 by Angela Lansbury

Chocolate at Luton airport. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 Chocolate by another name

I wonder would it taste the same?

Excreta by another name

I wonder, would it smell the same?

Yet Marilyn, they changed her name

Madonna, would she sell the same?

The PR team, are they to blame?

New married name? What a shame 

Don't judge a book by its cover

Cover designer, send another

Interior design, why bother? 

A birthday suit to suit your lover

A poem by another name

Would it attract more

Or just the same?

How long can we play this game?

Sometimes it's right, sometimes its wrong

Sometimes the singer sells the song

Sometimes it yo-yos, yeah, ding dong

Arctic? Nirvana? Or Hong Kong?

Can you renew a famed dictator?

Who's the manager, who's the waiter?

Would my name change change my fate? Or

Should I wait? And change it - later!.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbur. Wed 27 March 2024.

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The Gift Of the Gab comic poem 392 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury dressed in Polish flag colours, with tablemat of world flags. Photo copyright Angela Lansbury.

 Which gift would I like to have?

Please give me the gift of the gab

Or tell me that I don't need it

It's something I already have!

I can say hallo in English

Greet Americans with hi

Say ni hao in Mandarin

Add Dutch and Polish? Before I die

I'm struggling along with Korean

Not yet tackled Vietnamese 

My bonjour and wilkommen flow fine

Danke's German for thanks, but what is please?

Easy words I already know

Very few, but quite a few

And the Spanish Ola is English hello

I still have quite a lot to do

I'm adding new words every day

To lists which I already have

At first it was work - but now it's play!

I'm giving myself the gift of the gab.

-ends-

Birthday Girl & Boy, To The Restaurant comic poem 391 by Angela Lansbury

This weekend I'm the birthday girl

You should indulge my every whim

Next weekend is our son's birthday

When that weekend revovles round him

I have a hair band for my hair

A tee-shirt with balloons to wear

A badge which shouts, they've let me out

So everyone knows I'm about

I mentioned birthday, when booking

Will they bring a lighted candle?

May I bring in a huge balloon

Or is that too much to handle?

I'll fuss about where I am sat

Will you dim lights and then march in?

Loan me a  funny birthday hat?

Videos are ads, big win-win!

I'm wondering what I should bring

My phone will play happy birthday

Should my group sing, or will you sing?

A gift photo would make my day

They used to give free birthday cake

But nowdays we get one slice

Caterers save lots of money

If in the price, less fat is nice.

My name in chocolate on the plate

Whisper and give the host a wink

And free chocolates, that would be great

And free Champagne, or nightcap drink

Well, if you just leave us alone

I promise I shall not complain

I've chocolates and drink at home

But don't expect me back again.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury

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Little Birds Tweeting Greeting comic poem 390 by Angela Lansbury

A little birdy boy is tweeing

Not saying, 'Boy,  I am annoyed,'

No, it's, 'I'm here, happy greeting

Listen to me talking, tweeting!'

What he means I'll never know

Is it, 'Come here,' or, 'Let\'s go'

My ear hears what he has to show

So I'm going with the flow

I do not hear him the next hour

The silver birch his ivory tower

He hides inside soe garden bower

One sweet son'g enough to empower

 His voice stays higher, never lower

Like me singing in the shower

Always faster never slower

Maybe the dear cat makes him cower

But despite the joy I heard

In my garden not one bird

Leaves, green grass, yellow flowers

I could sit and stare  for hours

But something outside isn't right

Litter strewn throughout the night

In the garden playful foxes

Tore apart discarded boxes

Out I rush, sweep, pick it up

Drop it in a litter bin

I'm not glum, job is done

Fox is out, litter is in

Fox ran off, bird flew away

Now it's time to start my day

I have wasted hours and hours

First pick litter, then pick flower

One must do whatever needs -

Cut dead branches overhead

Cut back roots and pull out weeds

Now a neater flower bed

What a day, a lovely start

Vase of flowers lights my heart

Birds and foxes, beg your pardon

It's my turn to own my garden.

-ends-

copyright Angela Lansbury. Copying a couplet with acknoledgement to the author is fair use. But if you would like to share the entire poem please share the link back to this post. Thank you.

Also see poem 383.

I have books on writing poetry on Lulu.com and Amazon.co.uk

Dressed For Four Funerals And The Body In The Coffin comic poems 388 and 389

 

I went to four funeral teas

The living, not the dead, to see

The only good thing I could think

Not say, at least not you, and wasn't me.

Find the right cemetery

The children's  house - what could go wrong

For the album you must write a story

From their life, or the title of a song

The first was double funeral prayers 

For A mother and a son

Three roads which all had the same name

The other son: So glad you came

The second one was cremation

They spoke of his good deeds

Magician's broke a magic wand

Hotel cream tea, forget me not seeds

The third for a jolly, old friend

As students, we met so long ago

From childne I'm now glad to know

I'm glad to hear his voiee on video

The fourth had died overseas

I was asked to read a prayer

Although I'd never met her

Family were glad I was there

And now what do I read

That mourners up in Hull

Made jewellery from wrong ashes

Kissed empty coffins as well

Maybe we should go back

To open coffins like Victorians

And photograph us beside them

To glory them in memorium

Cremation means no floating germs

No headstones, instead plant a rose or apple tree

When my time comes I won't be here

Nor near, to worry what you do with me

Royals have a rule when they pack

Always travel with an outfit that's black

The rest are colours when going away

No funerals, wear colours today

If I wear both black and white

I/m ready for both day and night

Am I in the perfect dress

What dress code? I'm in my best

In Eastern lands white's not allowed

White's for the dead dressed in a shroud

Unless told otherwise, I think

You wear black, not luminous pink

While we're all here together

Celebrate what comes our way

Maybe that's why I'm wasting your money

Spending on my cake saying happy birthday.

-ends-

PS Numbering's Wrong comic poem 89 by Angela Lansbury

My numbering system has gone wrong

I wonder what I've done, what's gone

I wonder why it took so long

To notice a missing poem

And right the numbering system

And simply write another one.

-ends-

Written 2024 June 11th Tuesday.

Useful Websites

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13190037/widow-husbands-ashes-jewellery-police-funeral-home-freezer.html

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Photo of Angela in black and white. Photo by Trevor Sharot

From A Loved One In Heaven comic poem 387 by Angela Lansbury Postscript Poem 388

 Sometimes I feel sad that I've lost my love

But I hear  them laughing up above

They say: I'm getting bored up here

So I thought I'd wave to you, my dear,

I've seen the world from high in the sky

I've seen the planets, clouds and snow

I've said hello to friends that I know

Pharoahs, Elvises and Hitlers all smiled hello

I thought I'd send you a butterfly

A ladybird and a falling leaf

It isn't much but a little sign

For those with lots or a little belief

Escaping from the winter chills

Are gardens full of daffodils

To help climb mountains of Wills and bills

Flowers cure ills with signs of goodwill

Just a little something to bring relief

I'm getting bored up here alone

Far from the loved ones so long known

I hope you've seen the signs I've shown

I know you'll join me before too long

Meanwhile for the others please stay strong

Water the plants and try to get along

Think, a lifetime of love, sing a favourite song.

Please stop doubting, please stop shouting

Up here at last I have found peace

I shake my head and tut at arguments beneath

I don't need towers, flowers or a wreath 

Just keep busy down below

Dusting the dust, or shovelling up soft snow

Think of me smiling up above

Like a hand in a glove, a liftime of love.

When an hour has passed

When a day has passed

When a week, then a year

You'll find peace at last

After the funeral

Don't dwell on what's gone

The world like the traffic is moving on

Enjoy a steak, a lettuce leaf or scone

It's no use asking me to come back

Friends and family can give what you lack

You put away the white and the black

Drink some water, have a small snack

Smile at the memory

Of when we were together

I'm smiling from above

In every kind of weather.

-ends-

Postcript Poem 388

Writing poetry does speed up 

when you stop running gthough the alphabet

 trying to find rhymes 

and instead just google 'rhymes with' 

and the ending of the word on the last line

All of a sudden the poem is done

And you keep writing rhymes, not intended

Like this one..

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Another Mother's Day in the USA is on the second Sunday in May.

PS Does the spelling of daffodill defeat you. Two (effing) effs and one of everything else.

Ladybird in the US ladybug.

Photo of Angela Lansbury, travel writer and author of 20 books, with daffodils. Selfie taken in March 2024. Copyright.

Hey, Another Mother's Day comic poem 386

  Hey hey! What did they say?

Today's another Mother's Day!

But every day's a mother's day

And a great, grandmother's day

I'll be babysitting today

Lots of laughs will come my way

For two-year-olds, every day

Is mother's and grandmother's day.

We've one day for those in the UK

Another day in the USA

I don't mind, that's very nice

I get to celebrate myself twice.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury 2024 Sunday March 10h 2024.

NB mother's day in the UK and USA are different days. 

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Speaking Contest comic poem 385 by Angela Lansbury

To keep energy in my head

I dressed myself in vibrant red.

Enter contest and speak on Zoom

Like open mike, must read the room

Turn each page, still earn a wage

At my age, still on the stage

Looking for my inspiration

From the landscape or the nation

Seeking twisting in the plot

Finding fun where there's a knot

Interviewed in the interval

How do deal with glass half full?

Some you win and some you lose

Dressed in colours like a cruise

In Zoom waiting rooms, blind as a bat

Beaten by a poet reciting rap

Write my life, tell my story

Interviewed, give myself glory

Avoid  all fiction and faction

End with a clear call to action

Do what all good speakers do

End with smiles and nods to you

Another stop in life's station

Certificate of participation

Even though I did not win

Inspired to rewrite, must begin

But I won a little win

Presented with a Pathway pin

Lots to learn from speech winner

Feel much better after dinner.

Shrugging at the passing time

Eating chocolate, sipping wine

Lastly, before I go to bed

Remember what Napoleon said

He spoke of delights of Champagne

A thought which I'll repeat again

'In victoty you deserve it,' I concede it

'But in defeat, you need it..'

This fond Gran does not back pedal

When three -year-olds all get a medal

My spouse says, 'They must choose

You can't all always win! Be prepared to lose!'

ex

For little children, women and men

Lose, then prepare to run again

Winning is not out of reach

I'm already writing .my next speech

Don't be sadder, just be gladder

One step up the success ladder.

-ends-

I was in the Division L International Evaluation Contest, Saturday March 9th 2024, one of 8 contestants, not placed in the top three. I had previously won at club level, came third at area level, but was a last minute entrant at the third level, Division level, when the person ahead of me had to drop out.

Photo 

 Angela Lansbury wearing red, smiling after losing the speech evaluation contest. Photo by Trevor Sharot. Copyright.

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