Diet Contest, comic poem 161 by Angela Lansbury

Somewhere far away

In the USA

There is a contest

To see who can eat

More than the others!

Yes, so I have heard -

I think it's absurd!

They like food that's free

They're like you - and me!

Did they have mothers

Who told them to eat

Each piece on the plate?

I had no sisters

I had no brothers

And yet I compete

With every other

Each time that I eat

I loiter and take -

One more piece of cake

I take the last crisp

I don't want to miss

New kinds of biscuit -

See it and take it

I lick both my lips

I don't do cooking

When no-one's looking

I lick the whole plate

And recall what I ate

No crumbs on the floor

I eat one crumb more!

...

But why don't I try

A new way to live?

Instead of taking

It's better to give!

Some guests are quiet

Stick to their diet

Why don't I compete

With those who don't eat?

With those who won't eat!

Over our dinner

Who is the winner!

I know the problem

I know the answer

Just tell her or him

'You look great - so slim!'

Maybe they won't ask

If I wear a mask

I spent my childhood

'Please finish your plate'

Can I change that thought?

It isn't too late

Where should I begin

I have a vision

A new direction

I'll aim to be thin

I must be stronger

I know what to do

So I live longer

I must look away

I just look away

I just walk away

There's no more to say

If I scrape the plate

Then what is my fate?

The scales do not lie

And  no mirror lies

Shock, but no surprise

When our fat friend dies

And his son died, too

So what must we do?

Say, 'I've eaten enough'

It's rough, but I'm tough

So what can I eat?

All kinds of meat

Ending with chocolate

It feels like a feast

Just stick to one piece

I'll eat that later

I'll drink more water

When we are meeting

Instead of eating

Out at a buffet

At home I shall stay

I'll eat less than most

Won't please a keen host

We'll all talk on Zoom

In a food-free room

'cos everyone knows

How to fit in your clothes

Because I confess

At first I say yes

But seconds is no.

I'm saying goodbye

To the weight I hate

It's never too late

To control your weight.

-ends-

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