Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Confession Of The Accident-Prone Tormented Traveller. Comic poem number 149 by Angela Lansbury.


I wore pink and black to a funeral

When the others all wore black

I crawled on the floor under the pew

Reversed my jacket before the priest turned back


Disasters always happen to me

But they also happen to you

As I fly by, into spiders' nets

Beside you, you know it's true


Because I'm the anxious passenger

While you're the optimistic driver

Luckily I'm a survivor

But I wouldn't bet a fiver


Last week we got a parking ticket

And then the congestion charge

You shrugged, and said, just once in a while

The two fines, and my stress, were large


I've travelled a lot, near and far

Loved Corsica, 'til knocked down by a car 

On campsites I was unhappily muddied

I drove home, found my street was flooded


One boarding mishap can be blamed on me

I left my passport behind at security

Crew tried to stop racing back off the plane

I promise I'll never do that again.


Now you off travelling

Friends ask, "D'you mind being alone?"

Yes, I do, but travelling is so stressful

I'd rather fall off chairs and trip over at home.

-ends-

I changed, then add to the last line to I'd rather trip over at home, trip and trip over being useful puns.

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