My Phone
by Angela Lansbury
You are never alone
With a mobile phone
It's the link between
Yourself and your home
It's like a mother which minds your day
You panic when it goes astray
I might never find it again
My God - have I left it on the train!
I tell my family, "I think I've lost it!"
They snap, "Not again! Empty your pockets!"
No luck. "Then empty out your bag.
Why d'you have two tote bags, like an old hag!
"You do this to us, every time
Why don't you remember where you put it!
I'm not going to help you out again
This time you go back and look for it
I regret that the whole world would agree
That most of my troubles are caused by me
I make the whole world grumpty and cross
As I lurch through the day with loss after loss
But now I'm a granny so I can teach
And demonstrate, show, tell and preach
"Knot every knot, tie every lace
And make sure each item's in its home place
Don't live you live a crumpled mess
Know your phone number, your hotel's address
List what you packed in your suitcase
So you can win life's potholed race.
-ends-
Written at Swanwick, Writers Summer School.
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