Icy Bicycles comic poem 502 by Angela Lansbury

 

Restaurant with bicycle outside in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

A bicycle is lots of fun

When it's summer in the sun

But when your world's had snow and ice

A bicycle is not so nice

We bought our kid a scooter

With a helmet, lights and hooter

She's too young for a bicycle

And too old for a tricycle

Even in the warmed-up kitchen 

I'm feeling very cold

Maybe I got too little sleep

Don't say it's 'cos you're growing old

Now children are excited when they look out

For the first time they see snow!

I tell friends in the tropics

'Cold as snow,' but they don't know

People ask me, 'How cold is it?'

They ask me what I mean

I think you'll understand

If I say, 'Too cold for ice cream?' 

I'll switch on my electric blanket

I'm not cycling out, alone, at all

Even if we two took a tandem

We'd be two, four, eight, icicles on bicycles.

-ends-

Two icicles on bicycles - two of us cycling, on a tandem or on two bikes

Four, two sets of four cold legs, or my two arms and two legs

Eight is two people with two cold legs and two cold arms.

What is an iambic pentameter? (Comic Poem number 132)

 

A pentameter is five pairs, five pairs

Just like a dining table with ten chairs

Five children have five pairs of hands, and feet

Five pairs of diners, so ten meet to eat

I am sure you want to know the truth, trust me

I was asked by a friend this week, at last

I've penned up all my knowledge from the past

But now I'm sure my time has come to speak

I'm sure you know duo / duet means two

You know bicycles have two wheels, not more

A tricycle has three wheels, triads - three

And triplets ride trikes with three wheels, yes three

Quadrangle have four angles at four points

Quadruplets have four times the food and fun

The Pentagon has five sides, we're quite near

A pentameter, five metres - we're done.

A human foot has ten toes, so a foot

In poetry or drama, is a verse

Used by the king, villain or chief or boss

The royals speak with rhythm sounding grand

In Shakespeare you can hear the strong heartbeat

'I am the king who rules the wilful waves

I stand, declaim, and claim, this throne, my seat

Behead the wives, beat slaves and kill the knaves

A hero, or anti hero has visions

To be or not to be has a strong beat

Count your beats, like Hamlet, make decisions

Two lots of four or five, your line's complete. 

It's sort of, not quite, no, that can't be right

Poetic feet have two syllables so a pentameter has ten

A meter's just a measure, rhythm, tight -

Maths wasn't my strong point, let's start again

Trochees stamp on first beats, iambic - two

Trochees have a marching sound, dum dee dum

Iambic sounds more like a flowing sea

Iambic flows on, like waves, leaves on trees.

Pentameter have ten beats in five pairs

Iambic like 'I am', stamps on beat two

The emphasis on second syllable 

Just count beats, it's easy for you to do:

You can if you wish use the useful bold

I dare say you could also under line

Or try Italics if that system helps you

I keep on changing systems all the time

The pentagon has five sides I recall

Ten syllables is easier than eight

Short lines to cut can drive you up the wall

For poems, long pentameters are great.

Unstressed, then stressed, unstressed then stressed

Iambic, oh no, oh woe is me. I feel undressed

Unstressed, then stressed, unstressed, then stressed

I was stuck, but now, I am happy, I am impressed.

-ends-

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You can also write songs in six beats and four to make ten syllables per line, as in the Bee Gees' song, First Of May.