Fig served in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.
I had a fig to go with wine
I see others' figs all the time
Supermarkets are in the know
Figs can't be difficult to grow
I haven't got a fig they say
I didn't have a juicy fig
I went and bought a little sprig
Twenty years later it's too big
It started very cute but small
Planted a few feet from our wall
Three years I watched it anxiously
Alas it didn't grow at all
Then, hurray, it started growing
And then it grew its first small fig
Then more, but not soft nor big
What next? We'd no way of knowing
If you cooked them for several hours
Eventually they'd soften
Delicious in a syrup, we agreed, but
Something you won't do too often
Then we built a house extension
A glassed conservatory
But the fig's now too near
Roots lift, shift a house, like oak trees
The fig leaves have grown enormous
At the expense of the plant's figs
They say that if your figs are small
It's 'cos you let leaves grow too big
Now it's rained for several days
No need to water the garden
The only problem is I see
The fig stalks start to harden
I do not want to cut it down
Wave all our years of work goodbye
Let's plant a bisexual tree
That's something I'm keen we should try
But my husband frowns angrily
'You and your damned little, hard figs
It took me hours to cook them up
And now the useless tree's too big!'
Yes, if we dig up my loved fig tree
The garden gains by looking big
But I'll point at the space and sigh
'We used to have a lovely fig.'
but I shall miss my healthy fig
Mixed with fruit, seeds and a fresh date
I'll raid my cheap supermarket
To fill my dawn five-a-day plate.
-ends-
Also see poem 667 on the fig, apple and other trees.
Please share links to your favourite poems on my blog posts. I have more blogs on travel, and fashion.
Also see my latest book, the amusing Embarrassing Moments on Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk or Lulu.com . I have about nineteen other books on these websites. I have poems in books
Seriously Funny Poems by Angela Lansbury
Writing Poetry For Fun
Poetry Workshop Workbook
We Saw The Dinosaur (illustrated large book with one long poem for children)
In the And Us series of anthologies by Carolyn Street I have some poems.
In Addictions & Us I have a poem entitled Hoarding Plane Traveller. and a chapter 11 Confessions of a Hoarder, Keeping Order, and chapter 12 Fighting Fat, Getting Fit - Addicted to Eating Potatoes, Chocolates and Freebies. In Grief and Us I wrote Chapter 5 Coping with Bereavement and Depression, not humorous poems in that book, although I recommend reading humorous poetry and watching humorous films or videos.
