The Weather Game, comical poem 577 by Angela Lansbury

I'm playing the weather game

I won't be beaten by weather

I'm wearing new synthetic Crocs

And waterproofing old leather

I step outside the big front door, 

To give the day a chance again

Despite the forecast's promised sun

My paper bin's battered by rain

I should go out and buy fresh fruit

Plus exercise is good for health

Despite new shops, I'm not shopping

I'll eat tinned food, drink by myself

My neighbours are all locked inside

No-one has called or spoken

I checked all my umbrellas

And every one is broken

My smart tote bag is waterproofed

Against spills spoiling its fine gold

But it is open at the top

Like me the poor thing's getting old

My sunhat's waiting for its walk

If a sunhat could feel sorrow

It would shout out, "Please - but I'm straw

So let's wait until tomorrow."

I hope tomorrow is better

I'm nearly a house-bound recluse

The garden pots can't get wetter

I'm shopping. I've nothing to lose!

-ends-

I Got Up comical poem number 576 by Angela Lansbury

 I got up, great -

So I've survived!

I'm glad to know

That I'm still alive

I could say that

I got up late

But that puts us

In a bad state

I'll smile and lie

Got up early

Happy to join

Life's hurly burly

First of all

I washed my face

To make the world

A better place

My first success

Is getting dressed

Before I clear

Yesterday's mess

Took my pill and

Drank some water

Wrote this poem

Time-killing laughter

More hours on earth

I've matched up socks

To prove my worth

Matched keys with locks

I always seek

New things to do

They may not sound

So big to you

But if you're bored

Come over here

There's lots to do

And clear, my dear.

-ends-

Lost and Found comical poem number 575 by Angela Lansbury

So many lost things crowd my mind

Umbrellas which I've left behind

And every time I see my love

I end up with one more left glove

Look around, up and down

Maybe it's fallen on the ground

The spectacles are by the bed

The other pair are on your head

If it's lost don't dwell upon it

Maybe you are sitting on it

I'm glad we didn't change the locks

Enough trouble just changing clocks

And the odd sock, one more today

I've thrown the one with holes away

The chocolate bar I cannot find

Wrapper in bin, well, never mind

I've lost a lot but found some more

My toes find needles on the floor

After I've spent a sleepless night

Lost things are found in morning's light

The found scarf, label says pure silk

Finished the milk - I bought two milks

What pleasure finding keys for locks

My greatest joy, matching odd socks!

-ends-

Wine Without Whines comical poem 574 by Angela Lansbury

 I think it's time I wrote of wine

My Obituary comical poem 573 by Angela Lansbury

 

It's time to plan my funeral

I've reached the age of eighty-nine

Because if I wait ten years more

I won't have energy nor time

It's something that's been haunting me

I think about it day and night

I think I'll be a help to you

If I say who you should invite

That's easy. I'll just make a list

Of every friend and foe I've known

Then, as they die, I'll cross them out

Until, at last, I'm left alone

I'll list countries I've travelled to

What I've missed, done wrong - and done right!

And quirky things I like to do

Like writing poems in bed at night

I'll write my own obituary

So many good things to say of me

I used to write, I used to teach

I wrote my own funeral speech.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems. Poetry books by Angela Lansbury are on Amazon and Lulu.com

Dreams Of Colourful Scenes, Blue And Green comical poem number 572 by Angela Lansbury

 

Last night I had a vivid dream

I dreamed of a patch of bright blue

I hope you're excited like me

Though you'd prefer I'd dreamed of you

Then I saw trees, a moving scene

A road through trees, moving, great green

I wanted a destination

But saw, repeating, that tree scene

Why would my dreams be colours?

Why would I dream of green and blue?

Good, I didn't dream of others

Of dream lovers, instead of you

I search for a simple answer

What goes in minds, and what stays in?

I think my brain sorts out at night

What to throw out, stay in or bin!

I scan lots of WhatsApp pictures

Other people's walks and flowers

I admire the lovely colours

Images stay fixed for hours

 ***

Like ads and cards from yesterday

Record, in case, then throw it in

I must glance, memorize each one

Then tough, rough, throw all in the bin

I do not need to dream of you

For you are sleeping near

I do not need to dream of you

Because I have you, really here

 After night I forget most dreams

For they are not rationality

You are not just a dream, my dear

You are daytime reality

Next day, breakfast, a glass of water

No dream, waking, see a real face

Telling mad dreams, hearing laughter

No need to record a real place

Real's not just sight, made, thrown, at night

Fleeting fun thoughts to share with you

Of lovely coloured dreams, now gone

My joy at dreaming green, and blue.

-ends-

Author's note.

I originally entitled my poems comic poems. But, strictly speaking, a comic is a person, a noun, whilst comical is an adjective. So I have changed my titles on my blog posts.

See Angela Lansbury's books and ebooks on poetry on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk and Lulu.com 

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2025/05/a-dream-of-blue-and-green-comical-poem.html

Please share links to your favourite poems. Poetry books by Angela Lansbury are on Amazon and Lulu.com

Throw It Away comical poem 571 by Angela Lansbury

 

I've been throwing it all away

All yesterday and all today 

Old clothes with mysterious stains

And cryptic notes I can't explain

Old newspapers torn to shreds

Faded sheets which don't fit current beds

Ornaments with missing heads

Out of date seeds for bare flower beds

Thermal underwear when I tried to ski

A torch with a leaking battery

A glued up cup, an odd, chipped plate

Tinned food ten years past the eat by date

Good items which I ought to sell

Hide in a shed, attic or well

Will you come home a happy you?

Or frown and sigh, 'Lots more to do!

'You've filled this house with junk for years!'

I refuse to be moved to tears

For if I stop, five minutes, too long

I'll never fix up what's gone wrong

So many things have been forsaken

Two tickets for journeys both have taken

Menus of restaurants closed long ago

Business cards of dead people we used to know

Boxes with hinges beyond repair

Out of date fashions even I won't wear

Cushions which don't match any chair

A fraying soft toy which I won at a fair

Our neat friend claimed she keeps everything

Not just old-fashioned diamond rings

Every ad, packet, envelope, box

Keys with locks and keys without locks

One day soon they'll be vintage things

What a fortune an old Steiff teddy can bring

You should be grateful and not grouse

You should have bought us a mansion-size house

So much dust stirred up, I'm feeling ill

Then you look for a missing - important bill!

You insisted, told me, 'It all goes, or I'll go!'

I warned you. I don't say, 'I told you so!'

-ends-

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