Monday, May 5, 2025

Recycling comical poem number 565 by Angela Lansbury

 Every object and fabric has its use

We silent sewers must be outspoken

We growers save seeds from loss, that's abuse

Rescue brolly fabric when metal's broken

Saved umbrella covers. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

What is your home's look?  Your body's your home

Feed your mind with sugar, dates and honey

If you lose bone teeth get new plastic ones

Best are gold teeth which cost plastic money


Folks with high IQs live in confusion

In fiction, art, and imagined heaven

No one dares say religion's delusion

Mine's perfect, yours twat, why can't all see that?

-ends-

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Singing Birds But, Silenced, Cats! comical poem on birds 564 birds version 2 by Angela Lansbury

  Singing Birds comical poem by Angela Lansbury version 1


I have a box with a singing bird clock

I played it a whole day, then it was stopped

I thought it was cute, hourly birds tweeting

My spouse said it spoiled his online meeting


He said, 'Look - this annoying sound must stop!'

He silenced my birds, alas, that was that

Back in its box went my new singing clock

In our house my husband prowls like a cat


I heard a real bird, one early morning

Sound like a doorbell or a phone ringing

Like an alarm clock call joyful dawning

Or did that early bird sing code warning?

 

I listened, astonished, what could it be?

It woke me up twice, it gave me two turns

Who was it calling? Surely not for me

Early birds tap beaks, like rain, to lure worms

 

I love to hear birds tweeting, singing greeting

Calling, unseen, from the top of the block

Like a friend calling through the letterbox

But please, mr birdie, not at five o’clock!

 

One little bird has woken the others

Calling all, join my loud, cawing chorus

Each bird has fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers

Tweets and squeaks interrupt, annoy, paw us

 

I could shoot the nearest one, wave a gun

Like vine-grower's scarecrows, get arrested

My water pistol might miss and kill someone

Because my aim has, not yet, been tested


We’ve seen bin thefts tossed by a fox, and rat

Suddenly there’s silence, a prowling cat

Cute cats scratch babies, spray smells on roses

Tenants fixed repellent, I’m pleased at that.

 

I‘m sure you have heard that kittens like birds

Cats love birds, for their lunch or their dinner

If you banish cats, birds’ song will be heard

Old, bold birds sing praise, hymns, you're their saviour!

-Ends-

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

Too Many Singing Birds comical poem number 563 version 3 by Angela Lansbury

 Singing Birds comical poem by Angela Lansbury version 1



I heard a bird in the early morning

Sound like a doorbell or a phone ringing

Like an alarm clock calling the dawning

Instead it was the early bird singing

 

I listened, astonished, what could it be?

It woke me up and it gave me two turns

Who was it calling, was it calling me?

I guess not, early birds are wanting worms

 

I love to hear birds when they are singing

You hear them call from the top of the block

Like a friend calling when phones are ringing

But please, mr bird, not at five o’clock!

 

One little bird has woken the others

Calling all, join my annoying chorus

Each bird's fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers

Tweet until they annoy us and bore us

 

I could shoot big rooks or flocks with a gun

But I'm afraid I might be arrested

I might miss, hit a black hat, kill someone

Because my marksmanship's not been tested


We’ve had thefts from bins by a fox and rat

Suddenly there’s silence, I see a cat

I used to hate cats, today's pet hate's birds

So spotting a cat, I’m pleased about that.

 

I‘m sure you have heard about cats and birds

Cats like birds for their lunch or dinner

Banish, or chase cats, birds’ song will be heard

Birds sing praise of races, you're their winner.

-Ends-

Sunday, April 27, 2025

Granny's Dolls' House, version 3 with detailed illustrations comical poem number 562 by Angela Lansbury


Granny had a little dolly

And the dolly's name was Molly

Molly had a taller sister

And her sister's name was Elsa


Doll sisters lived in a big house

Which had a dog, a cat, and mouse

It had a garden, pots with flowers

The clock sundial counts hours

 

Dolls' house entrance with policeman and cars.
Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

By the front door shines a blue car

If dollies want to travel far

A train parks in the train station

Police guard their police station 

Dolls' house dog. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


In a tall box store outdoor shoes

The best ones you don't want to lose

On the dog house is a big dog

A hedgehog but no green frog



In the hallway see a round rug

Where Molly meets all with a hug

At parties many times a year

For both their birthdays and New Year

Japanese dolly. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


Korean fridge magnet doll. Packaging saved from Fortnum & Mason chocolate selection. 
Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


But the party which they like best

Is the one in national dress

See their Japanese housekeeper

Plus visitors from Korea 

Bed from wooden pen case. Japanese doll head. Cork body. Small soft toy lion. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


In the hallway by the window

Is a long inviting settee

When you have nowhere else to go

Shut your eyes, dream of sea - or tea

MAGA advertising on mini chef for a restaurant in Poland. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


In the kitchen, a chef and cook

Have hat, apron, bowl, dishes' book

In the kitchen the best honey

Which must cost a lot of money

DIY bed for dolls house. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Upstairs, on floor three there's a bed

A pillow where dolls lay their head

Halloween walking toy. Guatemalan (anti) worry dolls. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


A toy box, plus small and big toys

Silent toys which won't make a noise


Small pictures fixed on ev'ry wall

(Gran used blue gum to fix them all)

A wardrobe with a long mirror

Smart dolls, and friends, dress for dinner


Up on the roof's a helipad

Where you can land a little plane

A tower and a sloping roof 

Which makes a run'way for the rain

The monster on the roof. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


The roof has statues of a dog

A Noah's ark, tortoise and frog

A cow, a horse, even a bear

A small monster with lots of hair

Santa saved from a Christmas cake, on the roof of my dolls' house. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Santa and reindeer saved from a Christmas cake, on the roof of my dolls' house. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


On the roof's a big cat with claws

Which sits beside the Santa Claus

Who lives, hides, on the roof all year

Deer waits to bring their Christmas cheer


Yes, dolly does have a brother

And a father, and a mother

Dolly-sitter Grans gladly stay

While dollies' Dad's on holiday.


Each day dolly girls go to school

The school has lots of written rules

About the times when you can play

A calendar of holidays.


Until at bedtime, yawn and sigh

Tired Dolly has to say goodbye

Gran and our dolls are here to stay

Ready to play another day


So Ava shuts the door, the house

Puts in the cat, puts out the mouse

She says, 'dear dollies, please sleep tight

I wish you, all, a peaceful night'.

-ends-

A new version, cut or expanded to fit 8 syllables per line, added jokes, with illustrations added later today.

Note to poem writers and readers: -

To cut out a syllable, change mother to mum, father to Dad, granny to gran, every to each, dollies to dolly, many other plurals to singular, little to small, a lot of to lots of, past tense and present continuous to simple present tense. To add a syllable, do the reverse, change small to tiny or little. Sometimes by making change you can add an alliteration. 

I needed an extra syllable in the line about the monster. Should I add the words bit or small. The monster was small. A small monster adds the inconguity which is amusing.

I needed to lose a syllable to the last line, ending a very good night. I changed it to peaceful night. That was slightly more original than good night.

Toys and DIY

It would be easy to print a tiny list of rules for a school wall, or dolls' house kitchen. Six point type. Or a postage stamp size piece of white paper with your best calligraphy. Or a piece cut from one of those irritating instruction books in tiny print in multiple languages. Or a postage stamp with the head of the president or king or hero or your country or the country you visit on holiday.

Please share links to your favourite posts.

Saturday, April 26, 2025

Ava's Dollhouse version 2 comical poem 561 by Angela Lansbury, revised with revisions explained


 Ava had a little dolly

And the dolly's name was Molly

Molly had a taller sister

And her sister's name was Elsa


Doll sisters lived in a big house

Which had a dog, a cat, and mouse

It had a garden, pots with flowers

By a clock sundial - counts hours

 

By the front door shines a blue car

If dollies want to travel far

A train parks in the train station

Police guard their police station 


In the hallway see a round rug

Where Molly meets all with a hug


In the hallway by the window

Is a long inviting settee

When you have nowhere else to go

Shut your eyes, dream of sea - or tea


In the kitchen the best honey

Which must cost a lot of money

In the kitchen, a chef or cook

Has hat, apron, bowl, dishes' book


Upstairs, on floor three, is a bed

A pillow where dolls lay their head

A toy box, plus small and big toys

Silent toys which won't make a noise


And pictures fixed on ev'ry wall

(We used blue gum to fix them all)

A wardrobe with a long mirror

Where smart dollies dress for dinner


Up on the roof's a helipad

Where you can land a little plane

A tower and a sloping roof 

Which makes a run'way for the rain


The roof has statues of a dog

A Noah's ark, tortoise and frog

A cow, a horse, even a bear

A small monster with lots of hair


On the roof the cat with claws

Sits beside the Santa Claus

Who lives, hides, on the roof all year

Waiting to bring his Christmas cheer


Yes, dolly does have a brother

And a father, and a mother

Dolly-sitter Ava will stay

While dollies' Dad's on holiday.


Each day dolly girls go to school

The school has lots of written rules

About the times when you can play

A calendar of holidays.


At bedtime with a sigh

Dolly has to say goodbye

But Dolly is here to stay

Ready to play another day


So Ava shuts the door, the house

Puts in the cat, puts out the mouse

She says, 'dear dollies, please sleep tight

I wish you, all, a peaceful night'.

-ends-

A new version, cut or expanded to fit 8 syllables per line, added jokes, with illustrations added later today.

Note to poem writers and readers: -

To cut out a syllable, change mother to mum, father to Dad, granny to gran, every to each, dollies to dolly, many other plurals to singular, little to small, a lot of to lots of, past tense and present continuous to simple present tense. To add a syllable, do the reverse, change small to tiny or little. Sometimes by making change you can add an alliteration. 

I needed an extra syllable in the line about the monster. Should I add the words bit or small. The monster was small. A small monster adds the inconguity which is amusing.

I needed to lose a syllable to the last line, ending a very good night. I changed it to peaceful night. That was slightly more original than good night.

Toys and DIY

It would be easy to print a tiny list of rules for a school wall, or dolls. house kitchen. Six point type. Or a psotage stamp size piece of white paper with your best calligraphy. Or a piece cut from one of those irritating instruction books in tiny print in multiple languages. Or a postage stamp with the head of the president or king or hero or your country or the country you visit on holiday.

Friday, April 25, 2025

Ava's Dolls' House comical poem 560 by Angela Lansbury



  Ava had a little dolly

And the dolly's name was Molly

Molly had a taller sister

And her sister's name was Elsa


The sisters lived in a big house

Which had a dog, a cat, and mouse

It had a garden, pots with flowers

A clock and sundial counted hours

 

Outside was small blue car

If dolly wanted to go far

And a train in the train station

And police in the police station 



In the hallway was a rug

Where Molly met you with a hug



In the hallway by the window

Was a long inviting settee

When you had nowhere to go

Shut your eyes, dream of the sea - or tea


In the kitchen the best honey

Which had cost a lot of money

In the kitchen was a cook

With an apron, bowl, and book


Upstairs was an attic bed

A pillow where you put your head

And a box with lots of toys

But the toys made no noise


And a wardrobe with a mirror

Where dollies could dress for dinner

And some pictures on the wall

With blue gum to fix them all


On the roof a helipad

Where you could land a little plane

Some of the roof was sloping

Made a runaway for the rain


The roof had statues of a dog

A Noah's ark, tortoise and frog

A cow, a horse, even a bear

A monster with a lot of hair


On the roof the cat with claws

Sat beside the Santa Claus

He hid on the roof all year

Waiting to deliver Chistmas cheer


Yes, dolly did have a brother

And a father, and a mother

Dolly-sitter Ava came to stay

When dollies' Dad went on holiday.


But the dolly girls went to school

And the school had lots of rules

About the times when you could play

The long weekends, and holidays.


At bedtime with a sigh

Dolly had to say goodbye

But Dolly was here to stay

Ready to play another day


So Ava shut the door, the house

Put in the cat, put out the mouse

She said, 'dear dollies, please sleep tight

I wish you, both, a very good night'.

-ends-

A new version with illustrations will be added tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 22, 2025

The Writing Business comical poem 559 by Angela Lansbury

Communication is a worldwide farm

Writers, like farmers, feed the hungry world, 

While the weather does wonders, or wreaks harm

Write drama, alarm, pass nuggets of charm


Instruction manuals are daily meat

Everyone needs guides, we all need to eat

The promises and hopes of each nation

A team, finds a theme, communication

Bus time tables, toilet signs at stations


At Toastmasters we listen, learn to teach

A set of tools within everyone's reach

To distill a clear message, with a joke

In a crisp five to seven minute speech


Right recalled wrongs, pen poetry and songs

Like icing preserves and decorates cake

Lullabies help restless babies to sleep

Rhythmic songs while you work, keep you awake


Businesses make losses in their first year, 

Be prepared, don't waste time on fears and tears

A cook's first home-made food, feeding only one

Cookbooks and pubs make money, profit, fun


Even a student starts hopeful and keen

But even beginners need small money

They needs lots of input for small output

Like worker bees, produce runny honey



But what I like is solid, thick, honey

It's crunchy and munchy and costs more money

So I can buy, guiltlessly, dear honey

I need to write what sells and makes money


To start a business or book's a worry

You sit up half the night - until daylight

There's hope, after years of experience

You learn what sells and you get it all right.


At last, writing's is easier and quick

The result's writer's and readers' delight.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite posts.