Dear Friendly Aspiring Poets - A Simple Task comical verse 653 by Angela Lansbury

 Dear Friends, Ill set you a simple task which has one aim

Write a couplet or verse which includes your good name.

My name is Angela and I'm happy to use it

My favourite saying is use it or lose it.

-ends-

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The Cure for Typos is Tea. Comical poem 652 by Angela Lansbury

 

What could go wrong?

I got up late. I need to state

That's why I made everybody wait.

When you're tired, mistakes don't take long.

I now know I'm not the only one at fault

We all make typos. When did I go to bed?

Today someone else has made a worse mistake 

Sent us white wine, instead of the ordered red.

I sang out of tune, a well known song.

It was karaoke. I got all the words wrong.

After all of my hype - oh

The first page of my book has a typo!

'Can somebody help me?

And not charge a fee?'

'Yes, I can help you -

If you can help me

'Can you proofread?

Say what I lack

I'd appreciate

Your feedback''

Your poem's sweet, short, succinct

But it would be neater

If it had less predictable rhyme

And found missing metre.

'Why is everyone so rude?

I'm sure that I've done something good.

You should encourage, not discourage!'

I'll dot the ayes and cross the tees and make a cup of perfect tea.

'Now you've offended me

I helped and got no thanks

I gave you feedback

But we've nothing in the bank

'If you didn't want help

Completing this task

You should not get offended

Or, you shouldn't ask.'

My first job is to like myself

The only way to help my health

I'm not a whining wino

My type's worst fault is a typo.

It takes a while to reconcile

Make myself and others like me

But we all feel better now

I've served and drunk a cup of perfect tea.

-ends.

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Busy Dizzy Days comical poem 651 by Angela Lansbury

First I make a shopping list

Keen that nothing should be missed

On my way to do the shopping

In a hurry, can't be stopping

 First I pass the lush green grass

Pause. Put my nose near a red rose

Stop to take a photograph

Smile at new neighbours, wave, joke, laugh

Window shopping, what is new?

In the shops, read each label

Find a bargain, if I'm able

Patiently, join a long queue

Back at home, I'm a winner

Arrived just in time for dinner

But I'm asked, 'What went wrong?

Why did you take so long?'

Tramp Davies wrote, 'What is life if full of care

You have no time to stand and stare?'

That's the thought of shameless, aimless young

I'm old, less time, more to be done

Rush. Make sure each day's got lots of value in it

I do not want to waste a precious minute

Then when I stare, I sort useful thoughts

Of what I should do with bargains I've bought

Is there anything I might be needing?

Does the garden need seeds or weeding?

Do I need cover to protect my knees?

Should I plant herbs, which attract birds and bees?

Do I want to dig dirty potatoes?

Better stick to quick growing green and red tomatoes

Photograph, sunlight makes trees dappled -

'Let's go out and pick some ripe apples!'

Save leftover food for another day

Turn the excess apples into puree

Brief stop for snacking on what I like most

Cheese and butter melting on hot seed toast.

Cheese and toast with coffee. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

***

Write, then. go out to enjoy today, 

Because tomorrow it might rain

Make another short list, start again

I'm busy writing, happy and don't need to explain.

-ends-

I changed 

then at last join a long queue 

to 

Patiently join a long queue.

The first version explains why I am late in the next verse.

The second version contrasts my dawdling with my husband's impatience to start dinner.

The toast (with mushrooms) was, in fact, breakfast. My picture shows toast with cheese for elevenses.

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. But my husband says, don't keep changing it. The flow is better with the first version.

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Holidays, Hotels, Homes, Husbands - The Opposite Of What You'd Expect comic poem 650 by Angela Lansbury

Pretty Riversides - Insects Beside

 The good is often bad and the bad's good

Things don't turn out the way you think they should

Those cute hotels perched by fly riversides

Attract unwary diners, backless brides

Attractive Perfume On Holiday

My flower perfume attracts mosquitos

In New Zealand as ev'ry Kiwi knows

You need to wear long sleeves and covered toes

Ugly, triple layer, repellent clothes

Homes By Sweet Streams

And if your house stands beside a sweet stream

Life's not the pretty dream which it might seem

It's dangerous to toddlers, backing cars

And drunks who walk out watching up there stars

Lovely Lakes - Fun For Dog Detectives

Rivers and lakes look lovely in the day

Until at night a car misses the way

Long after parents die, children dry tears

Dogs find six drowned wrecks, after sixty years

Growing Fig Trees - Like Jack & The Beanstalk

And my small fig tree which refused to grow

For years had only one small fig to show

Wrong kind of figs, small, hard, only for stew

Now giant fig tree shoves our home askew

Fruit - Tasteless Blueberries & Tasty Strawberries

The blueberries we think will be a treat

Have no taste, though they are easy to eat

Bright red strawberries are hard as we fear

Yet really tasty, one week of the year

Fruit - strawberries, raspberries and blueberries,. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Hopeless Or Helpful Husbands

I married late, I thought worst of the bunch

Grumpy husband, gave hugs, made lovely lunch

 The good is often bad and the bad's good

Things often don't end how you thought they would.

-ends-

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Do You Have A Butterfly Mind? Refuting an accusation, humorous poem 649 by Angela Lansbury

 

Butterfly. Free pic from 

 Do you have a butterfly mind

Leaving all the bad weeds behind

Some like to finish all they do

But others hop to something new

A butterfly mind's no disgrace

Pretty butterflies have their place

They do not touch the dirty ground

But fly about and hop around

Somebody once asked me, if I

Had a mind like a butterfly

The conversation wasn't of his choosing

I'd thought I was being amusing

It all depends on the time and state

But when I must, I concentrate

When all is done, one can move on

Divert or yawn when it gets late

A butterfly on plants or plates

Can fly over fences and gates

It's pretty, amusing, flies over walls

Better than being pretty dull.

-ends-

I meant to write a song comical poem/song 648 by Angela Lansbury

 I wrote a poem today

Cute, Clever. So what went wrong?

I wrote a poem today

But I wished I'd written a song

A funny poem can be a moment's fun

It's personal, when aimed at one

But a song can entertain the world

Brighten dim dawns, console setting suns

A simple phrase can become all the rage

Words which dance, leap off the page

I'd rather enhance, strut across a stage

Despite age, wave a mike, sing a song

One famed speech for an investiture

Inspires students of tender years

Calms fears, moves to laughter or tears

But a strong song adds emotional gestures

Songs evoke nostalgia, love and laughter

Provoke, stoke, stroke, prevent a murder

Songs entertain, drummed, hummed forever

Bring millions hope and lasting pleasure.

-ends-

Today and Tomorrow - editing yesterday's errors comical poem 647 by Angela Lansbury

Upside down out of date calendar on fridge. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

 Today and tomorrow, early and late

I'm ready to move on, please wait

I'm learning all the vital words

Spanish and Swahili, must be heard

The trouble is I contemplate

Am I the mistress of my fate?

Today I'm already too late

Today's poem will have to wait

I'm still correcting yesterday's

I went to bed expecting praise

I woke, and saw no comma, a space

Typos and erors all ove the place

I edit to set it all right

Pefecting what seemed right last night

I need to fix, mend, yesterday

Before I move on to today

Alas the clock said it was noon

And heading for the afternoon

I've sorted yesterday, moved on

Ready to start more things half done.

-ends-