Cautionary tales by Angela Lansbury

The Victorians were sensible

Even their poets were practical

Cautionary tales gave all a warning

When rationality was dawning 

They gave a warning to a small child

That even a zoo animal's wild

Clearly stated in pictures and verse

A naught child ends up i a hearse

Kittens are kittens but cats are cats

Tigers are wild, and all zoos know that

Although a cage puts you in a rage

Even those from Mars know don't climb bars

In Singapore visitors are sure

After one mishap there are no more

They searched around for the antidote

And made a moat, but not with a boat

Balcony bars aren't horizontal

they're designed impossible to climb

If something bad happens only once

Make sure that it stays the only time

You cannot pass through the safety glass

Nor take a dive. so tourists survive

When reports and remedies are done

We'll all go back to have safe fun

Though I'm no longer a small scared child

I don't like it in the scary wild

Too many tales and warnings I've seen

Now I watch the wild things on my screen.

-ends-

After the fatal incident in the Yorkshire wild life park I asked Gemini AI if Singapore Safari Park, which is linked to the zoo, has had accidents, and what safety measures where introduced. 

also read

1. "Jim, Who Ran Away from His Nurse, and Was Eaten by a Lion" by Hilaire Belloc

This is a classic satirical cautionary tale from Belloc's Cautionary Tales for Children (published in 1907).

The Lion and Albert by Marriott Edgar

This is a famous northern English comic monologue (often performed by Stanley Holloway) written in dialect.

Hilaire Belloc passed away in 1953. His copyright expired at the end of 2023 (70 years after 1953), meaning his works are now out of copyright and in the public domain.

Marriott Edgar passed away earlier, in 1951. His copyright expired at the end of 2021 (70 years after 1951), meaning his works are also out of copyright and in the public domain.The Wetherspoons pub located right near the Blackpool Tower was actually named The Albert and The Lion in honor of the poem.

The God Of The Garden. Comical poem number ... by Comic Angela Lansbury.

 I am the God of the Garden

I am the one who creates

I planted trees which shelter from breeze

Which started too small and now are too great

I am the God of the Garden

But over years made one or two mistakes

You use spades when the earth hardens

So much time and effort spent on my garden

I planted the bulbs for flowers in spring

I planted almost everything

All of the seeds, but none of the weeds

The vibrant red apples each autumn will bring

I planted flowers for birds and bees

I laid out the paths and the low wall of brick

The flowers and bushes, and fences and trees

The pear grew too slowly, the cypress too quick

The neighbours sent hedgehogs

Parrakeets and green frogs

Tennis balls, litter - carried by foxes

The birds, animals, lost cats, stray dogs

At first I was happy to see the fox

At first I was happy to see the cat

At first I was puzzled the lawn had big holes

I was not happy to see the big rat.

today I am sitting snug indoors

I'm sweeping the garden mud of the floors

Poems Inspired by London's Railway Stations - Paddington

Paddington station is the best

For travellers heading to the west

Work, happy UK holiday

Or on to far off USA

Selfie statues: Paddington Bear,

Engineer Brunel on his chair,

Tall hugging lovers stand upstairs

Symbolise travelling everywhere.

-ends-

(More tomorrow)

Performance Poetry. Comical Poem 867 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury, second place in the Table Topics impromptu speaking Area contest.

Toastmasters International

Holds contest twice a year

Clubs send best speakers to compete

At clubs or places central near

It's for fun, skill, not for money.

One contest is impromptus

Four speakers try to be funny

Perform with props. Then interviews

Judges have given in their vote

Ballot counters secret counting

Interviewed speakers self-promote

While the tension's mounting

I had my moment on the night

When they asked me to recite

That welcome invitation heard

Alas, I can't recall one word!

I improvised, just like a rap

Suddenly some rhymes came back 

I'd just one minute left to speak

To be remembered half a week

'Here I stand upon this stage

Helping you turn your life's page

I hope that I shall be a winner -

Then I can go home - to dinner!'

I'd done the best that I could do

Impromptu rhymes, few and not new

Rhymes rushed, climbed, wave brave - just used half

At least my punchline got a laugh.

-ends- 

I could have said home to Pinner, but that is personal and parochial, a place only known to local people, and only interests those who live in or near Pinner. Dinner is more general and affects everyone and is understood.

I had won first place in the Table Topics contest (impromptu 2 minute speech answering a question) at both my London clubs, HOD and Harrovians. In this contest I represented Harrovians. This gave the opportunity to the second place winner from HOD to represent HOD. If I had won first place, Harrovians could have claimed that their member won first place, representing them. But HOD could also have claimed that their member had won first place (not mentioning that I was representing the other club) because I could bring the benefit of my experience of participating to HOD members.

What did I learn? If you are a poet, always carry a copy of one of your best and shortest poems or couplets in your pocket, or memorise it, if you are likely to be interviewed at an event, or at any big meeting in case members of the audience are invited to speak, or volunteers are asked to speak.

If possible, plan a couplet about the event of location, season, or something which related to the audience, for an impromptu rap.

At the Area Contest I was placed second. Out of five. But I was the only one performing poetry out of nine. And the only one from my club of multiple members to be on that stage. Second of all the people in all the clubs of the area. As Woody Allen famously said, 80 per cent of success is turning up.

The humorous speech contest is at the start of the Toastmasters year, along with the impromptu speech, so it is open to all members of the club, including the new speakers. It is only national. The next contest, in springtime, is the International Speech, usually a motivational speech. 

You Choose Happy Words. Comical Poem 866 By Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury.

Your words will chooose

If our lives meet

Words shake my hand

Or push my feet

Speak with your eyes

Words from your lips

Offer choice, like 

Salad or chips

Good words you choose

Predict we'll meet

Do your words smile?

Your poems greet?

Your poem's just

A set of words

Just one tells me

Should you be heard?

Which mood to choose?

One glance, I'll know

Should I linger?

Or quickly go?

One false, glum word 

And I'll be gone

Say one good word

And I'll stay on

One negative

I turn the page

One happy word

I'll share your stage

Questions can be

Just a decoy

I'm looking for

A word of joy

A happy way

To start my day

Choose win or lose

Your choice, you choose

So I will share

A happy note

To be depression's 

Antidote

Strike out words which

Sound negative

Always end with

The positive

A laugh, a smile

Cheerfully say

I'm glad you stopped

Have a great day

I hope my words

All positive

Will show you how

We all should live

If just one person's

Mood, day, I save

My adult's thoughts

Like one child's wave

Will make you jolly

Happy, and brave

A wave of joy

A summer wave.

-ends-

Autumn has a Smile Day.

I started my day feeling happy. Then I opened the first page of somebody's poem, a depressing rant.  I shut their poem and started my poem. Why should I ruin my day with his or her depressing poem? I thought, I'll write a positive poem, telling other poets politely, to be positive.

Poems Like Speeches comical poem 865 by Angela Lansbury

Birthday cake at restaurant in Pinner, Middlesex. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Birthday cake, decorate, with heart

A candle to glow, light the dark

The symbol of a birthday gift

Clean green, and warm red, spirits lift

 Good poems should be like fine speeches

Which everyone can remember

Because of the message each teaches

More joy each time it's dismembered

The words should be simple and clear

The thought clear and bright as daylight

Every verse, sentence and word

Should strike major chords when it’s heard

Dissecting speeches, cutting cake

Each person chooses what to take

And everyone finds something good

To satisfy and lift your mood

Don't put a foot wrong, nor stay too long

A poem should be like an old friend

Always there when it is needed

But brief, know when meetings should end.

-ends-

This poem was updated and revised with additional first and fourth verses on October 10th 2026. 

The poem has eight-syllable lines.

When do you need a hyphen? Eight-syllable has to be hyphenated to show that eight refers to the syllables not the lines. 

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https://hod.toastmastersclubs.org/

Scarecrow. Comical poem 864 by Angela Lansbury.

 My blouse and jacket, both in white

Glow like a beacon in the night

Like a scarecrow designed to fright

Yet welcoming in kind daylight

If I came back as a friendly ghost

A blessing not given to most

I'd like to dress fine as a bride

Whose blemishes the night would hide

I might come back on Halloween

When all the best dressed ghosts are seen

In a contest I'd win the prize

Be named the Queen of Halloween.

-ends-

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