Fruit For Tea comical poem /song 640 by Angela Lansbury

Fruit salad. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Early breakfast in pyjamas

Orange orange on a white saucer. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Oranges, and bananas

Yellow banana. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

In the fridge what do I see?

Strawberries we save for tea 

What shall we have for our tea?

For our tea, for our tea

What shall we have for our tea?

Not today, On Sunday

I see big red strawberries

Strawberries, strawberries

I bit big red straberries

For my tea on Sunday.

Ripe red fresh fruit. Finest flavour in August in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

What shall we have for our tea?

Not today. On Monday

We can have big raspberries

Raspberries Raspberries

Not for tea on Sunday

For our tea on Monday

What do you like? What do you say?

For our tea on Monday.

Big blueberries. Photo  by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Blueberries, blueberries

I love to see big blueberries

I'd like to eat big blueberries

For our tea on Tuesday

 Blackberries, blackberries

I see big blackberries

I would like big blackberries

For our tea on Wednesday

Red currants, red currants

I can see big red currants

Red currants on Thursday

For our tea on Thursday

.

Black currants, black currants

I can see big black currants

Black currants on Friday.

For our tea on Friday

Pitted Dates. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Figs and dates, on the plates

On the plates, By the grapes

Red grapes from La Fromagerie in London

. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

I think we shall have to wait

For our tea on Saturday.

Cream from top of Jersey whole milk. Sold by Tesco in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

On our birthday we add cream

Thickest cream you've ever seen

That is such a lovely dream

On next birthday we'll have cream

Toys' food's ready every dawn

For yellow teddy bears and a blue unicorn

Well give food them which gives them joy 

All the wooden and soft toys

For toy kittens and a puppy

Serve whatever makes them happy

Healthy food which does them good

On plastic plates, fruit made from wood

Artificial fruit. Fridge magnets. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

For my breakfast what do I see?

I see big red strwberries

Maybe we should save them for tea

Big and small red strwberries.

We went out to pick the fruit

Green and red apples on the tree

Green apples on tree in garden. Photo by Trevor Sharot.  Copyright. 

In supermarkets and small shops

Bananas and raspberries - not chocolate drops

Durian is served in season

Banned on buses for a reason

They smell bad to somebody

Never mind, there's more for me.

I see figs and I see dates

In the bowls and on the plates

We will have fruit salad soon

On the table, served with spoons.

On my birthday I will choose

Fruit that's red or pink or blue

On my birthday I can choose

To share it with my friends and you 

I imagine thick white cream

What a lovely coloured dream

I imagine thick white cream

What a lovely coloured dream.

I will share it all with you

Green and yellow, red and blue

I will share it all with you

It's a dream which could come true.

I thought I'd share my thoughts with you

It's a dream, let's make it true.

Coloured fruit, in red and blue

It's a dream, let's make it true.

-ends-

This can be sung as a round for children, at a birthday party, in a classroom.

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Weird Noise - Was It A Ghost? Comical poem 639 by Angela Lansbury

 

Toaster. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Who should we all blame

When we smell burned toast?

A human being

Not a made up ghost

And when something 

Falls off a wall

It's just gravity, 

Not ghosts at all

And when you hear

Some creaking, late

You know you forgot

To shut the gate

And that strange noise

A kitchen cough

That is your fridge

Turning on and off

And clonking noises

Don't do a runner

You boiler needs

To see a plumber

And when I hear

A tap, tap, tap

I know I have

A dripping tap

And a funny noise

From the radiator

I must get around

To fixing, bleed, it later

Strange buzzing

Up in that lampshade

I sprayed the wasp

It hasn't stayed

You feel a chill - like a ghost?

You must be having a laugh

It just open doors and windows

Which are making a draft

My house is always

Alive with sound

But a sensible scientist

Is checking around.

'I've fixed all the problems

So you shouldn't complain

Then what's wrong now?

'It's eerily quiet again.'

-ends-

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I was rather pleased with the twist ending.

Exercise - comical poem by comical poem 638 Angela Lansbury

 

Walking Frame.  Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

I got up from my wheelchair

and used my walking frame

I nearly fell over.

Who can I blame?

Tell someone in a wheelchair

That they need to exercise

Expect to get a glare or two

From incredulous eyes

After two weeks in a wheelchair

I found I'd put on weight

I walked at night to the bathroom

Next day I got up late

I have to get back on my feet

For ten seconds or more

I promise I'll do more next week

I might walk as far as the door

I did exercise while in my bed

Rolled my shoulders, rocked my head

I lifted my feet in the sky

And waved both hands to say goodbye

The physio said

When you're sitting in your seat

I want you marching

Both your feet

Life is what it is

No point moaning

You'll be happier

Creating seratonin

I've followed their instructions

To the letter

Now I deserve

To get better.

But if I don't

What can I say?

Whether walking, sitting, standing

Lucky you. Have a nice day.

-ends-

Confession time. The first verse was added to my poem about exrcise and a wheelchair because I had a picture of a walking frame.

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Buy, sell, swap, recycle comical poem 637 by Angela Lansbury

 In large firm with many accounts

Some customers owe large amounts

Some people shrug about their debts

And hope the world will just forget

I always like to pay my way

Don't say I'll pay another day

I like to see numbers look neat

And that I stand on my own feet

So often when the urge has gone

It's time to pass old craftwork on

Give ski boots, lilos, high heeled shoes

Gain a wheelchair, what good news

But I have learned don't lend nor borrow

Owing money brings you sorrow

If you give someone what they lack

Earn kudos, don't expect it back 

In our street we have a whatsApp

People say what they'll give away

A useful way to clear your clutter

If you don't earn it doesn't matter

We clear out old baby clothes

And each year kids want different toys

Get rid of things which you can't sell

Musical toys which just make noise

Put surplus apples in a box

Make pairs of puppets from odd socks

Donate a bench to view the docks

On an old t-shirt paint a fox

So much to do now I'm retired

I wake each day with ideas fired

Recycle paper, in its place

An empty box makes a crayon case.

.

Emptly chocolate box from France made into a crayons case. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

We give somebody what they lack

We don't earn, but we don't pay tax

Just drop it round, no need to pack

Friends give to us - and we give back.

-end-

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Digression On Your Possessions In Photos In A Suitcase comical poem 636 by Angela Lansbury

Suitcase. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Look around you. What do you love? 

What do love about this place?

Look around you. What do you have?

Can you pack it in one suitcase?

A baby arrives with nothing

But a lease for eighty years

And grandparents smiling faces

Hide years of wrinkles, tears and fears

A toddler owns a little world

A playpen and containing cot

But wants to walk and see outside

Treads on across the toys he's got

A bride wears one white wedding dress

It's new, but only for that day

When tomorrow pushes along

That dress is stored, sold, thrown away

Photos snap great but brief minutes

When she walks in the procession

Marks her brief point of progression

Photo's her best, brief, possession

You see the groom has got the bride

The bride and ghosts have got the groom

They invite whole village strangers

Or two close friends in one room

The president or king arrives

Big banners all around unfurled

Egyptians built big pyraminds

To show the world they ruled their world

When I take a long holiday

My world's packed in a small suitcase

My handbag holds bold eyeliners

Beside a mask to hide my face

Now that I'm retired, I'm hoarding 

Yes, I ought to be downsizing

And swap or sell my six bar stools

Buy one chair, which is reclining

After we're gone, clearance is called.

Front gardens convert to car parks

New owners change wood to marble, 

Paint walls, dark to light, light to dark

So, in a century or two

What will be left of me and you?

Who cares. I don't. We can't. Yet, your

Future, reader, Gran won't forget

So I'm leaving you this poem

A legacy. Share, re-read, see

This link you need, to you from me

To last, for all eternity.

-ends-

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My Garden Is A Zoo comical poem 635 by Angela Lansbury

 My garden is a zoo

It grows and grows and grows 

How dozens of weeds found us

God only knows

We have birds and sqirrels

Often a cat, once a lost dog

A dear little hedgehog

And a toad - or maybe frog

Although the yearly survey

Reveals sad loss of birds

I hear owls and see a woodpecker

My neighbout saw an escaped deer, I heard

Next door both sides throw bread for birds

They kindly throw it out and chuck it all around

I have broken, empty birdboxes instead

Lawn mowing noise and rain lure millions of worms from my ground

I'm glad to say no cockroaches any day

But a wasps' nest, a butterfly and some kind of bee

I don't need a lesson in biology

I've the lifetime of the maggot in every apple on my tree

Apple tree July 2025 by Trevor Sharot. Copyright. 

Sometimes I plan to picnic, or read a book

But a movement in the distance makes me stop warily to look

Like lounge grabbers by hotel pools, I see a sunbathing fox

I retreat to the house, shut windows, kitchen door, patio door's three locks

Every day something dies and something is born

Squirrels burying threatening acorns in small hills in the tripping lawn

A small garden, but, like persistent dodging fleas find, land and breed on my dinner plate

The tinest garden teems with life every dawn.

My garden's like a zoo, breeding endangered creatures

But I am not in a rage

I like to watch my visitors

I'm the biggest attraction, in my cage.

-ends-

I ought to edit this so that every line has the right number of syllables, sounding sweet and neat. But I rather like it as it is, jumping about, in a disjointed, flippant, conversational style, full of asides and jolting, out of control afterthoughts.

Which are my favourite lines? The sunbathing fox. How kiasu, as Singaporeans say, getting ahead of me, fear of missing out, got there first, - like holidaymakers putting towels on loungers around hotel pools at dawn.

I also like the dodging fleas.  The comparison of the garden being small, yet teeming with life, breeding like fleas on leftovers, or even while you are eating, over a dinner plate.

Best of all, the biology lesson from the maggots in the apple tree, a lesson in every apple. As they say, telling me without telling me. 

Praising the lesson, whilst obviously really not pleased about maggots.

And the overall idea of a garden being a zoo, which is well organized with every animal and insect labelled. Boasting, proudly, but revealing that the plants and insects in the garden arrive at random,unplanned, unwanted, over-breeding, escaped, sending the householder into the house like a cage.

I think this is the best thing I've ever written. But I alway think that after every poem. And every book.

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The Reasons For The Seasons comical poem 634 by Angela Lansbury

 There' s a reason for each season

And every spring small birds will sing

In summer time, as parents know

Red, white, pink,yellow roses grow

Roses in a garden.2025. By Trevor Sharot.

As a rule children go to school

Learn to cover books, wash their hands

Open windows to keep us cool

Learn about life in other lands

Granny teaches don't say never

But I cannot live forever

Every year some old folk have gone

But babies are born and life moves on

Winter sometimes brings us snow

Put on your boots and off we go

Spring time brings us refreshing rain

So we get to see new flowers again

Forget the past, not all things last,

We need to say, enjoy today

For every season there's a reason

Look around, our earth is heaven.

-ends-