The Cost Of Lost - And Found comic poem 413 by Angela Lansbury

Magnifying glass. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Why does a worker turn up late

Assisted by a toothless mate

The one with a hole in his sock

Yet solves the problems of the block?

The window's stuck, you see this catch

Oh, no - I left it on the latch

Now he and I can both explain

We do not need his help again

Just when you reach the doctor's door

Your pain is troubling you no more

How often troubles go away

No matter what the helpers say

Kind amaterurs are everywhere

But even when they simply stare

The help is floating in the air

It lands on you when help is there

'This is the port I thought I bought

From the estate of the late Mr Bates'

''Can you help me look for my book?

You must have moved it!' It's lost. He's cross.

'This cork is tough,' and I'm feeling rough

I'm running for the train but I'm late again

We've lost the keys and can't be pleased

I've lost the slide, looked far and wide

My mind is turning round and round

I sing it and search in Sound Hound

She's not on the list, how can she be missed?

This is the game, mis-spelled the name

Copied from an email, where it is short

Felt fraught, so glad that error's caught

The email's gone, what could go wrong?

I can't remember the name of the song

It's going to be one of those days

I sent Chinese condolences - for a birthday

The thing he'd lost was black, not white

We found it hiding in plain sight

I respond at once when he gives a shout

We were perplexed by the bottle topper

Try heat, or seal, to release the stopper

Now can you help me get the stuck cork out?

***

After former friend had too much to drink

I heard and  I saw the way she swore

I think I heard  this had happend before

Instead say 'sugar', or 'funny', make more

I need to keep mind in good health

You can often solve a problem yourself

This is the problem, we explain, again

The answers appear like sun after rain.

All day we're feeling sad and perplexed

We've solveed one problem - then up pops the next.

A verse's extra syllable - again

Simple, lengthen all lines from eight to ten.

-ends-

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