Tea For Three With Me: comical poem number 722 by Angela Lansbury

Breakfast

Traditional English breakfast

Porridge oats, sugar or honey

Then baked beans, egg and bacon grill

Hotels give this thrill, for money

For daily grub go to the pub

Avoiding big hotels' big bills

Choose sausages and black pudding

Fried potato, and tomato

Lunch

For lunch you could choose a Scotch egg

Sardines on toast, a healthy fish

Fish and chips is what we like most

Sundays Yorkshire pud with beef roast

If you're adding roast potatoes

Careful. You'd better keep quiet

Please don't spoil my good gourmet day

By reminding me to diet

For weekday lunch we have salad

And smoked salmon in a bagel

Supermarket sushi, garlic

We buy half price when we're able

Tea

Each afternoon we stop at four

Or four thirty, or even five

By which time we're yawning and tired

Need food and drink to stay alive

Tea time in London"s any time

No longer always Earl Grey tea

We drink hot coffee, apple juice

Lemon, ginget or mint for me

 If you've never had hot crumpets

Your gourmet life has not begun

If you"re offered two with butter

Please don't stick to half or just one

Scones feature in Cornish cream tea

Spread thick cream, then strawberry jam

Some say you should put jam on first

Avoid arguing, if you can

We sometimes choose a restaurant

But most of our food's home made

We make brown bread with seeds and nuts

Seville oranges marmalade

We clear the table, wash the dishes

And load the dishwashing machine

It does a very good job

Of keeping our plates sparkling clean

Dinner

Then it's time to lay the table

And get ready for dinner

For me, it's brussels sprouts

Chicken and chips is a winner.

Plates of steak, add English mustard

Chocolate pudding, with custard

Christmas pudding, then easter eggs

Build balloon tums and tree trunk legs

Tea Tomorrow

I hope you'll come to tea with me

But I must tell you with sorrow

I ate the last baklava and chocolate

My fruit diet starts tomorrow.

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Home Alone Without A Scone comical poem 679 by Angela Lansbury

 It's horrible to be home alone

When it's time for tea

And you don't have a scone

When you're in in a jam , wthout any jam

I gave a scream, I've finished the cream!

When you're alone, what to do about that?

I grabbed a pink jacket, black purse and white hat

I hurried down to the seven eleven

(In truth it was Tesco, which won't rhyme with heaven)

The man at the till gave a glum hello

And glum goodbye when I had to go

It's what you buy, not who you know

He's working, I should be happy at home

***

Then today it was tea for two

We had no scones, what to do?

What could we make? Not a pancake

We had pancakes yesterday, too

We found a crumpet

Too early to dump it

We know what to do to save

Heat it up in the microwave

By mistake we grabbed marmalade

Does anyone know why that doesn't go?

Maybe too sour when a crumpet is sweet

Hot crumpets with butter are great to eat

Add black currant jam

I lick my lips

It's on foodies' top ten list

With chicken and chips

The thought of food will banish sorrow

Think of what you'll eat tomrrow

If you can't, then think of today

If starving today, think of yesterday

When I die and come back

To say what I've seen

I'll talk about feasts of scones, jam and cream

Just like a cat with a smile at a dream..

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