Who Needs A Nearby Place To Grieve? comical poem by Angela Lansbury.

 Who do we need a place to grieve

A tombstone, monument with names?

Or tee-shirts, tattoos, names on sleeves

Old pictures in new picture frames

Some like to move old dead away

Cemeteries, later move old bones

Cemeteries car parks, parks for play

Hidden, stored on walls, old tombstones

While some move on, gran's gone away

Graves once a year seclude your tears

Whilst others want the dead to stay

Say angels on shoulders calm fears

Some think souls live and will return

Fly past as short-lived butterflies

(Yet not as bugs in rugs nor worms)

Sweet memories when someone dies

We give them little when they live

Spend our money on us instead

Then spend huge sums on wakes and graves

When it's too late and they are dead

A quick death brings one day of pain

The birth and death dates make a frame

New birthdays, weddings aren't the same

But old pix show joys lived again.

-ends-

I changed the last line 

from

But photos show joys lived again

to

But old pix show joys lived again.

Photos is a much better word than the horrid neologism (recently new word) pix. But I wanted to clarify that it is photos of old weddings, not photos of new weddings, which revive happy memories.

That Hat. Comical poem by Angela Lansbury.

See this summer sun hat's wide floppy brim.

I sewed on pink ribbon under my chin. 

I don't want my new hat flying away

On a bike or boat to ruin my day

It could be lifted by a sneaky breeze

If I read, take photos, or a strong sneeze

Where I am going five minutes sewing

Secures my hat for smart outfit showing.

-ends-

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We Do Not Ask! Comical poem by Angela Lansbur

We have never asked to be born

Nor to start young, nor end up old

Yet we can choose to stay timid

Or brave the cold and to be bold

The Bus And Train And Home

 ZOOM

I see a message on my Zoom

Which asks me, 'Ma'am, please join the room,'

The word Ma'am tells me caller's Delhi,

Or Bollywood on the telly

BUS

I never like to make a fuss

I won't say, 'No. I'm on a bus.'

I need to mute, I have no choice

If not, they'll  hear a robot voice

One of the joys of modern life

Robots remind like alert wife

Of every street a bus will pass

Back home, the phone says mow the grass.

TRAIN

Then when you're sitting on a train

With groups you'll never see again

Their clothes will tell you where they've been

And all the world's great sights they're seen.

When not on trains some like to run

On sunny days we all have fun

One man has street wheels on the train

Which takes us out then home again

-ends-

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How Are You? Comical poem by Angela Lansbury

 When the British ask, 'How are you?'

Tjey don"t really want to know

Everything that's wrong with you 

From left to right, and head to toe

The Brits don't want to know

About  short sight and wonky teeth

Miscaiiages, car accidents

Skin problems and what?'s underneath

Nor morning dickness, a blocked nose

Nor vomiting and diarrhea

Dandruff. Sore thrist and hammer toes

Lost weigjt, lost socks, and broken nose

How are you's just a greeting

So answer, very well, great.or all rùght

Then add, how are you. But neither of you

Should  list  aches and pains all though day and night

I've heard that Russia's different

They tell the truth and want to know

So ig you want to tell your troubles, that's where you should go

Once I went to zzzRusdia

And I hope Ive got this rigjt

Because when my date askef, How sre you

I taldef thoughout the nigjt

I told him all the troubles that the Brits don't want to know

Aches snd pains, agsin and again

From left to right, all through the nigjt

From left to right and head to toe

The British are so polite

TheyLl listen if you talk all night

And wont say how to put things rigjht

When in distress they call the NHS

-ends-

NHS stands for National Health Service.

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With all your driends and colleaged, both oh them. I mean both friends and family, or frinds and colleages, hundrefs of them, or the two of them, if you have only two.

Is This Poetry Or Prose?

 Who knows, and do you really know

If you wrote poetry or prose?

If you've read lots of poetry

When you write prose, strong feeling shows

But is it really poetry

With rhythm and with proper rhyme?

Did you count feet or syllables

Make sure each line took the same time?

A poem can be short, sharp, swift 

Be a piece of propaganda

Unlike a smart, reasoned essay

Which should be an even-hander

I often see so-called poetry

Religious rant, or political

It doesn't sound quite right to me

Cut lines are verse, not poems at all.

Some people write a quick, loud rant

Whilst others moan and groan all day

if you've got no rhyme nor rhythm

Maybe you should write sn essay

If you are so fraught with strong thought

But lack time for punctuation

Don't foist muddled struggle on us

Send words to another station.

-ends-

Do you look your age? Comical poem number 777 by Angela Lansbury

 

Angela Lansbury.

Do you sincerely look your age

When you're out having too much fun?

When you're so drunk you tell your age 

Kind strangers lie  - 'You look so young!

'Your birth certificate told lies!'

You know you're old when your dog dies

When grandpa dies and no-one cries

Great grandchild shrugs, the widow sighs

Babies are born wrong years and days

Babes should smile, sleep all the time

They don't behave in baby ways

Ungrateful, cry all night, wake, whine

Some of them look like old bald men

When you undress them, fountains go

Some babies small like opium dens

How would I know.! Just guessed - don't know

Then when teens grow and want a drink

They lie about their real birth age

They do not look the age you think

Drive, accidents, get in road rage

Then when they reach the age of thirty

People say they still look twenty

When they reach the age of forty

People say they look like thirty

When they reach the age of fifty

Nifty people say, you look forty

When they reach the age of sixty

People say you look like fifty

When you reach your seventies

People say you look like sixty

If a few do not believe it

They never say it's like it is

Then when you reach seventy nine

You're still having a great time

But when you reach the age of eighty

Your new stage is 'past my bed time'

Sadly the mirrors do not lie

And you do not fit in your clothes

Too fat to walk, belly balloon

Or skeleton thin, gone 'too soon' friends die

Your hair falls out, your legs give out

You need to wear reading glasses

You grow deaf, people say, 'Don't shout'

Younger folk stop making passes

And ageless singers who took drugs

Have faces like maps, full of wrinkles

Now look like bugs living in fugs

Can't keep it up, keep needing tinkles

Fond grandchildren will run away

When they need you on reaching teens

It's time they heard what you should say

But you daren't tell them what you mean.

-ends-

The Cup On the Saucer Went Round And Round THE FISH ON THE DISH. Comical dinner Table poem number 771 by Angela Lansbury

 

Round Nespresso saucer with square centre. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I was inspired to write a parody of The wheels on the bus. But instead of simple repetition, for pre-schoolers, the poem took another direction. 

It became more like an ironic ballad. Such as, A hole in my bucket, Dear Liza. 

Another influence, is the exaggerated cautionary tale. For want of a nail the battle was lost.  Humorous examples are The Lion And Albert, and Matilda told such dreadful lies. 

My poem tells a tale of endless dining disasters, and constant disagreements. And how we tried to cope and cover up. 

I started with the title The Cup On the Saucer Went Around and \around, but changed the words 

THE FISH ON THE DISH

On the day we dined up in town

We arrived soon, late afternoon,

First had water, black or green tea

Hubby, rich son, wife, Teeny-tot, poor me

The balcony table was round

It was the largest one we found

But cutlery fell on the ground

With a dreadful, clattering sound

The cup's saucer was square on round 

The cup on the saucer went up and down

Up to my mouth, I made slurping sound

My husband's hand waved, 'Tone it down!'

's

My coffee was strong, it sat too long

My cream was white the sugar brown 

I twirled the spoon in my cup round

It made a dreadful squeaky sound

The water jug was passed around 

It got lost and was never found

Somebody must have put it down

On another table or on the ground.

The sugar lump bowl sent around 

I sighed, 'I've put on half a pound!'

I took two lumps, put a third down

Dad shook his head, tutted and frowned.

The mixed fish cake dish went around 

'Is this cod?' 'Salmon.' 'Tuna.'  'Trout?

'It's monster fish - it's been renamed

All doled from the same tin no doubt!'

To go with fish, the chips went round 

The tomato ketchup bottle went round

Dad shook it up, and down his shirt

He said short words, 'Fish!' I looked hurt

The plate of pizza passed around

So everybody took one slice

The pineapple pizza looked so nice

That I took two, nobody knew

The birthday cake had candle flames

The chef had mis-spelled both our names

I said, 'Never mind, Grandpa's blind, pass the cake around!'

The sponge, jam, cream all soon went down

(

The waiter said, 'Happy Birthday' to me

I said, 'It's our anniversary

For last week's birthday, an anniversary cake

'Sorry, Ma-am. A mistake.'  'Three mistakes!'

The box of chocolates passed around

But 'baby' knocked them on the ground

You can't eat chocolates when they fall.

(At home I washed and ate them all!)

I ordered coffee but got tea

I complained, 'both taste the same to me

Both taste like coffee-tea, the same

Where's the manager?' 'Gone home. Not to blame'

I asked, 'Why is this bill so large?'

They said, 'It's our high service charge,'

Son smiled, 'That's fine, I understand -

There's always something underhand.'

-ends-

True story: Our Happy Birthday cake was given to a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary at the Alpine Restaurant, (in Bushey, London) - which later closed down.

Coffee-tea was a story told about some airlines. I thought it was a joke. But somebody who worked in the industry said it was true, to save time. 

 (More verses later on salt, pepper, bread, olives, ice cream, coffee, juice, milk, sweets)

Make up tea or dinner related words.

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Much too long was a parody of all day long.  

Here Is The Barn. Comical Poem Updated From Old Nursery Rhyme 770 By Angela Lansbury

 

Here Is The Barn

Here is old the barn, let's open doors wide,

Let’s all look inside where animals hide. 

Left are the horses, and right are the cows, 

They’re eating dinner and drinking right now. 

They’ll sleep here till night turns into day light. 

When we open doors, they’ll all trot away. 

Out in the pasture, they’ll eat grass and hay. 

Cows will moo loudly, glad horses will neigh.

-Ends-

Here Is The Barn is a secular version of the old nursery rhyme, 

'/Here is the Church, here is the steeple, open the gates and see all the people, Here is the person going upstairs, here is the person saying his prayers.'

The updated version of the poem, The Barn, either the original or my version, is one you can recite to children at dinner in restaurants and coffee shops. It also fills in time and amuses everyone when you are  seated waiting for transport and on long journeys on planes.

What did I change?

Line 1 I added 'old'. I changed 'it; to 'doors'.

Line 2 I deleted 'the' before animals and added 'all'

Line 3 I changed 'here' and 'here' to 'left' and 'right'.

Line 5 I added 'light'

Line 6 I added 'trot'

Line 7 Line 8 I deleted the word 'the' twice, in order to add moo, and glad.

You might prefer the version I originally saw, being simpler, easier to remember, easier to understand for younger children. However, I thought that my version was more visual and therefore clearer and easier to understand.

It really doesn't matter which version you remember, of if you accidentally or deliberately make up another version.

Useful Websites

Wikihow

Wikipedia

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Performance Poetry

Strictly speaking, this is a piece of performance poetry. But it is only suitable for close up around a table, or at a bedside. On stage the performers hands would be rahter small, unless enlarged on Zoom, or using a large screen.

First Dolly. Comical poem 769 by Angela Lansbury

 Our child's daughter had a dolly

And First Dolly's friend was Polly

When our dear child went out to tea

Photos showed so dollies could see.

The doll's house has lots of dollies

Our doll Polly's friend was Molly

When we took Polly out to tea

Photos showed so Molly could see

We've wooden plates and plastic cups

A plastic knife will cut cake up

A fine tea pot with lid and spout

We pass it round and pour drink out 

Sometimes we drink more, sometimes less

A paper napkin, I confess

To wipe up when we make a mess

To dry what we spilled down the dress

We and dollies enjoyed our tea

Thanks. Bye. Let's go. It's getting late.

Now we've finished and gone you see

There's only crumbs left on the plate.

-ends-

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Guilty -The Young And Old. Comical poem 768 by Angela Lansbury,

 When you are young everything's fun

You start then leave most things half done

But when you're old everything aches

And you feel guilty eating cakes

You lay awake for half of the night

Wondering if you got things right

You worry about your mistakes

You ought to shrug when a cup breaks

A broken cup is not a war

There's more, others, sold in the store

Though things aren't like they were before

Just sweep up, shut up, close the door

When there's a bully, what you do

Is take a train to somewhere new

Look for new friends and in a while

You'll smile, they'll smile, a world of smiles

There's bad things of which we should speak

But do not mourn more than a week

When all else fails, just go to France

Or play music and sing and dance.

-ends-

After writing this, I remembered that in traditional Jewish custom, after a death you sit 'shiva', which means seven, seven days and nights. Don't cook or work. After that, carry on with life.

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A Letter From Angela to Angela. Comical poem 767 by Angela Lansbury.

 Though you and I are far away

I think about you every day

When I wake up, my hair's a mess

So I think of you smartly dressed

So colourful, matching and grand

Although your clothes were second-hand

Nowadays pre-loved's what we say

Best clothes like us are packed away

I think of wise words you would say

For questions you had smart replies

No good friend grows old nor dead

They live, still young, inside my head

We've been apart for quite a while

I wish that I could make you better

I thought I'd send a poem or letter

Send you my smile to make you smile.

-end-

It looks like I've written this poem for myself, looking at myself in a mirror. However, it was actually written to my namesake, Angela Hook, a former member of HOD Toastmasters, who was very active in finding us new venues when our group had to move. She also performed poetry at our club meeting and at larger multi club area contests. In 2025 she fell and is now in bed and cannot attend meetings, although she has been visited by busy club President Martin Doe.

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A day of Journeys on Trains on the Underground. Comical poem 766 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Sherlock Holmes tiles on platform wall of the underground railway. Baker Street station. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Green Park underground railway station. Tiles on platform walls, showing leaves. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Lift guide in the lift. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Stairs to the underground to down

Escalators and lifts go down

The trains on the underground go round

On the circle line, round and round

On platforms, trains stop and start

Only statues sit admiring art

Tiles show boats, floats, churches and steeples

Queens, kings, Sherlock, famous people

Brunel statue at Paddington Station.

Commuters rushing everywhere

Foreigners calculating their fare

Children stare at Paddington bear

Brunel sits, calm, on his chair

Confused tourists go round and round

Excited laughter, guitar sounds

Standing, swaying, laughing, shout

Riding up lifts, pushing in and out

Long skirts, short skirts, old jeans, smart shirts

Ear-rings, nose rings, large tattoos

Posters, poets, tiles, mosaics

Accents, 'Move along,' high heeled shoes

Rushing back with all day tickets

Off to football, on to cricket

Off to opera, after high tea

Riders entertain you and me

At the end of the day, back again

Running to catch the very last train

Free newspapers, read in the deep

Last stop. Wake them! They fell asleep!

-ends-

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Fusspots Stop At The Door. Comical poem 765 by Angela Lansbury.

Door knocker. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

A fusspot knocks, stops at the door

She said, 'Sorry, I won't come in

I've seen enough of your clutter 

Half of this should go in the bin

Shelf showing old books, certificates from speech contest, and awards. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

'Your hallway makes me feel ill

It looks like you've been in a war

Shelves of ornaments.' 'Vital bills,

Prizes.' 'Shoes all over the floor.'

My spouse said, 'Our milk's become cheese

I've swept the floor, cleared up the dirt.

Vintage? Dated jackets and skirts!

Why are you looking cross and hurt?'

I'm tired, sick, the house still a mess

It takes an hour to shower, dress

I've tidied the desk, I'm doing my best

On teaching days, ignore the rest

After meeting fusspot, I'd felt depressed

Next day, gone noon when I got dressed

Five! Welcomed small pupils inside

One girl, so sweet, I nearly cried

Large red fan on wall. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

'My goodness,' she said, 'a huge fan!

'What a house, full of foreign stuff

There's so much to see and discuss

Just an hour here isn't enough

'I love your smiley door knocker

The pictures and hooks in the hall

You've more books than a library

You did those paintings on the wall!

Self portrait by Angela Lansbury. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

'Colours like a birthday party

Like Christmas day in a toy shop

A doll's house, so much to touch, do

I  won't stop coming to see you

Tall dolls' house. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

'My home is clean, empty, and dull

When my homework's done, I feel bored

You've always time to talk, listen

Mum's so busy, I feel ignored

'Your house is just the very best

Every room is full of treasure

It's fun, exciting, yet a rest

Visiting you is such a pleasure.'

-ends-

Five means five o'clock. After school tutoring.

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Preventing And Moulding Mold. Comical poem 764 by Angela Lansbury

THEN - FIFTIES HEALTH

A single widow in the Fifties

A German refugee, with white hair

Europeans open their windows daily

She did, too, each morning, for fresh air

Took tea outside in the open air

Left a mould-free flat to unheeding heirs

Her Fifties beds and chairs had space below

Advantages Brits forgot, didn't know why nor care

NEXT - HOUSES LIKE GRENHOUSES

Then came the joys of central heating

Double glazing, and big meetings

Cold floors, draughty homes, we'd rather forget

Buy thick drapes, duvets, and wall-to-wall carpet

Outside, rainwater pours down ivy leaves

Inside, you breathe out water when you breathe

You exercise, cough, blow your nose

You wash lots of the dishes, bedding, clothes

Every adult, child and cat

Each wet umbrella, raincoat, rain hat

Around the bath, under the bathmat

Around the sink, that dripping tap

We bought a big, noisy, dehumidifier

List in inventory. Plug in to check it's working

Overnight fills with water - tenant's shock!

Can't keep emptying it. Unwanted. Storage stock

NOW

Well after the Millennium

The occupants had changed again

Two bedrooms, two tenants became a family of five

Suffered mould. Why? That was a surprise

The law has changed yet again

A child's death governments mention

The landlord must: fix problems fast

Advise tenants on prevention!

CAUSE - OBSERVATION - EVIDENCE

The cause of mould is no mystery

Water, in the buildings' history

Black ceilings, from gutter leaks overhead

Skirting boards - rising damp from leaning flower beds

Builders long gone, might have done their best.

Let's walk round, observe, an easy test

Blocked drains and flooding bring more pain

Report quickly. Landlord paints. All do your best

You're spreading water everywhere

Every time you wash your hair

Every time you flush the toilet

Under the rim, how often d'you clean it?

You shut the windows when it's cold

Windows steam up, water makes mould

The mould will give you colds and coughs

Asthma, worse, carries small kids off

OUTSIDE MOULD CAUSE And COURSE

A damp course, horizontal line

Walk outside, foot high, you'll see it

Unless the plants touch bricks above

Gardeners should cut, agree it

ANALYSE & DECIDE ACTION

What causes moisture and mould? You must decide

Is it from outside, or inside?

If you see drips or mould, warn landlords, don't delay 

The longer it's left, the more landlords pay

The leaking radiator burst, turns into a flood

The hall floor mould looks like a river of mud

The maintenance will rise, the exhausted landlord dies

At the end of the day rents rise and drive tenants away

INSIDE - MOULD CURES

Proverbs say a stitch in time saves nine 

Is all that mould their fault - or mine!

Even though nobody's looking

Put lids on saucepans when you're cooking

Duvets and cushions away from walls

Clothes in cupboards in a basket

Buy a wall moisture detector

Is it too much to ask it?

I known skiers keep warm in snow

So warm clothes are the way to go

Save money to dispel the gloom

Heat up the person, not the room

Dress for the outside, take a walk

Even the old won't feel the cold

But what if you lot only slouch?

Buy electric blankets, for bed - and couch!

INDOORS CAUSES

You breathe out water through the night

Open the windows in daylight

And keep them open half an hour

Before, during, after a shower

Either banish water, or make spills vanish

Ban wet clothes on the radiator!

Kettles, covered coffee cups, big dinners

A warning sign, misted windows and mirrors

From hot countries, other nations

Aren't prepared for so much rain

Causing so much condensation

Global warming, yet more rain

The Moist Millennium

Double glazing, central heating,

Extended families, big meetings

Instead of people living alone

MOH, and working from home

Paranoid, put lids on glasses of water

Cover coffee, like a lurking Turkish bath attendant watch mirrors for mist

Buy a dehumidifier for each room

Keep adding to the minimise mould action list

INDOORS MOULD CURES

We can't fix the sloping grounds

Rebuilding walls costs thousands of pounds

But now we're wiser, now we know

The simple, cheap answer - open the window!

 

-ends-

Easy rhymes, observation, observe.

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Grammar. Police Traffic Lights. Comical |Poem number 763 by Angela Lansbury

 I am very fond of grammar

For just a wee dram shows my skills

Glad to correct stranger's for free

Send thanks, but help teachers pay bills

I am proud to be a teacher

Of the words from yesterday

I try to save words from the past

Which naive newbies throw away

Yet I do not speak like Shakespeare

I admit fashions change, move on

Scatter poems like confetti

Words which will stay when we've moved on

Like graffiti from poor Romans

Near 3D trompe loeil on rich walls

Everyone shouts out their message

To leave love, hate, pride from their falls

A child starts with grunts, screams, and smiles 

Pets wants attention, food, walks, love

Patterns predictable like day

But varied like the clouds above

We find pleasure in stillness, rest

Yet like adventure, news, movement

Common sense, from experience

But also novelty, improvement

You must know the rules to change them

Like Tarte Tatin, upturned cake

There's a place and time to break things

But I love to build, make and create

The joy of language and grammar

Is not to kick and hurt the fools

It is like offering a paintbrush

The rules are simply tools

I am not a cat chasing a mouse

I wear a smile, give praise, not grouse

Like ordered shelves so you find things

In your brain's big cluttered house .

Each day I expand my dictionary

List new words I didn't know

I add a page of glossary

Add slush, to fifty words for snow

Build a house with a hammer

Like planning walls, pillars and beams

I will help you build with grammar

So you can express your dreams.

-ends-.

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Useful Websites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ode_to_the_West_Wind

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

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Alive or Dead In Bed comical poem 762 by Angela Lansbury

I wake, there's silence in the room

I feel a dreadful sense of doom

Right now snoring would be relief

Hearing a grunt or something brief

 There is a body in the bed

Still sheet over body and head

I cannot see the body breathe

I wonder if I ought to leave

It's not a murder, there's no knife

We're simply at the end of life

I know this news is rather dire

The time you die's when you retire

I stand and watch, there is no sound

I try to pull the sheet right down

But it is tightly wrapped around

Two empty slippers on the ground

A tickle or a gentle stroke

Hurray, he turned, at last he woke

He's wide awake and he is cross

Much better than a total loss

Grumpy has a cup of coffee

I prepare a cup of tea

I am smiling, I am happy

I've got him back alive with me.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Useful Websites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ode_to_the_West_Wind

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share link

The Wonderful Will. Comical poem number 761 by Angela Lansbury

 What can  I leave you in my will?

Wonders, warm words which soothe all ill

A silver spray of sweet perfume

To help you breathe deep in each room

From pink and pine trees in the street

Glimpse gleaming treasures, sweets and treats

Windows with shutters open wide

So from the garden peep inside

A garden filled with red flowers

Where you sit and snooze for hours

In a hammock, or bamboo chairs

Dream painted tower's spiral stairs

Flowers feed bees and butterflies

Gently swaying weeping willow

Frilly white clouds, drift pure blue skies

Soft cushions, embroidered pillows

By a curved path of rainbow brick

Snug on rugs, sharing a picnic

Grapes, dates, almonds, currants, carrots

Watching the watching parrots

And in the house a small gold frame

My photo smiling, Italic name

By a comfy, carved old chair

So you can dream that I'm still there.

-ends-

I have tried to re-order the lines so that you go from the house where you read the will, out to the springtime garden, and back to the house with the photo. A circular poem, with the first and last verses framing the wandering thoughts.

I have used vivid, pictorial images, the humour of the hungry parrots enticed by the vision of the food, and the happy memories.

It is a picture of my bungalow in Hatch End, with parrakeets in the trees, but the imaginary tower, a Disney image, to rhyme with flower.

Tree in Hillview Road. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

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The Yin and the Yang 760

 

Yin and Yang from Wikipedia.

The symbol so succinct, the black and white

The contrast so clear is like day and night

The Chinese call it the yin and the yan

A circle, or sphere, ends where it began

It's like a school year, back home, then back here

Or a holiday, places far away

Let's try something new, an expensive game, 

Spice makes it taste nice, it looks just the same

Like breakfast and lunch, I have a hunch

The Trap Of Old Rhymes In A Draught. Comical Poem 759 by Angela Lansbury.

 I'm struggling hard to find escapes

From traps of old and well-known rhymes

Dictionaries delay, like big capes.

Pick words which echo modern times!

So let's chuck old rhymes in verse two 

June, moon, tune, noon, protected

Start verse three with a shock that's new

Misheard, absurd, unexpected

From classic poets, much to learn

But I shall censor 'thee' and 'thou'

Like them, make do with modern, 'you'

Invent new similes somehow

Although I always do my best

I start excited in a tiz

A bad start can leave me depressed

I'm not Shakespeare, only one is

No muse can help us pass life's test

Though AI edits all the rest

The way to pass life's daily test

Is starting early at one's desk

Your first draft has cliches, mistakes

But editing is all it takes

Thought can start or follow action

Just start, both bring satisfaction.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Useful Websites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ode_to_the_West_Wind

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

Don't Stare, Children! Comical poem 758 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Girl with coloured hair, by mural inspired by poet Shelley, in London, England. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Don't stare, children, It's rude to stare

Even if they have purple hair

Look at the floor, or sky, or tree

In your mirror, or book, or me

Don't stare, children, it's rude to stare

Though they are nude, have six foot hair

Pretend you neither see nor care

Ignoring them, just talk to me

If they look odd, their words absurd

Just act as though you never heard

Do not let the outside affect

With things you don't need to inspect

Act like you did not hear nor see

Do not react, nor disagree

Just concentrate when you're with me

They're free to be how they must be

Don't look nor hear bad things they say

Just hope and pray they'll go away

Just act as if they are not there

Don't share but have a happy day.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems

People Are Like Icebergs. Comical poem 757 by Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury wearing red, fancy dress glasses. 

 People hide their thoughts like icebergs

Only show you a little bit

You can mine gold, kindly find gold

Listen, gather golden drips 

I don't like football, so I wait

Let others share their dreams of teams

Their music is not to my taste

Frankly, I don't have time to waste

And yet each opportunity

Can bring new laughs and wit to me

Even strangers at the bus stop

Linked in sorrow when the trains stop

Start a chat with simple questions

Show that you have good intentions

Join journeys to far off places

In a world of friendly faces

Stories you might never have heard

Lips like taps drip out gems of words

Lonely people have hidden dreams

Dramas, thrills, and get rich quick schemes.

Stories of places far and near

Confessions you'd rather not hear

Make you pretend you're not, yet, friends

Forced to become friends in the end.

-ends-

I changed 

'though you become friends in the end.

Thinking time 2 hours. Writing time, then typing time 1 hour.

Please follow my blogs and share links to your favourite posts.

See my books of comic poetry, quotations and more on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk and Lulu.com

You Must Decide. Comical poem 756 by Angela Lansbury.

In every life there is some strife

Rehearse, decide which way to go

Agree or fight for all your life

You take a ride, choose who to know

Today I heard my neighbour died

We must admit life could be worse

We sent condolences and sighed

Glad weren't not there inside the hearse

We have survived most of our friends

The bad news is we all grow old

Hope for peaceful, warm, happy ends

It's worse to die early of cold.

-ends-

Some people think it is irreverent to joke or dress up for a funeral. But others feel the need to joke to counteract depression in order to cope.

Please follow me, read my blogs on comical poetry with Hazel Nutter, travel with Angela Lansbury, Dress of the Day Angela, and share links to your favourite posts.

My books on travel, poetry and poetry structure and writing poetry, humour, and wedding etiquette and quotations are on Amazon. Have a look. Buy one or two. 

Flowers For Hours comical poem number 755. Footnote on creating rhymes and surprises in poems.

Dying rose fading. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Cut flowers are dying

The petals are falling

The water's turned misty

The garden is calling

 

I run around a spring time garden

With my helpful secateurs

Which flower should I cut next?

Whose favourite? His or hers?

My first thought's the pretty rose

Simple white, pure and mellow

Roses are best, everyone knows

Only dead red? No white? Nor yellow?

Choose camelias, white and pink

They're still in bloom, so big and bold

They would be best, what do you think?

Agreed. Help - I've too much to hold

Who'd have thought you'd spend an hour

It's like cutting, left, right, dress hems.

The midget vase, or glass tower?

Decisions drive you round the bend

Cut off rose thorns, saved from harm

Tiny movement, ladybird? Doubt

Upturned insect in alarm

I saved its life, I threw it out

Such simple rules the flower game

My reward, it's like nature's balm

Dark green leaves, a halo, a frame

My restful flowers, give me calm.

-ends-

Today's discovery, or rediscovered system. Instead of predictable doggerel couplets, write couplets on alternation lines and a and c, then make another doublet split b and d. Start with a punchline, a statement or self-deprecating surprise. Line four numbering or d in the alphabetical ordering of each verse's four lines. Then find a rhyme for the last line to insert in line two.  

What surprises could you put in the last line? 

The object is alive, or the person described is dead.

|The writer is an animal. A ghost. The same person in the past or future. 

The second person is the alter ego , not two people, one.

The enemy is the friend. The friend is the enemy.

The dead is alive, the alive is dead.

The heat is a dream on a cold day. The cold is a dream on a hot day, like the song dreaming of a white Christmas, written in sunny California in summer.

The person or object described or addressed is an animal, bird, insect, reptile, fish, cat, dog, ornament, doll, soft toy, puppet, photo.

Rhyme. Comical poem number 754 by Angela Lansbury

 I think of rhymes all of the time

Sometimes cliche, often vary

Sometimes scary, sometimes sublime

Hesitating, feeling wary

Yet, I do what I've been taught

Walking around in my home town

Make sure every thought is caught

Carry a notebook, write thoughts down

They are  a help when I feel lost

Consolation for big bills

Like AI but with little cost

I feel so proud of my new skills

Think of your audience? I do.

Don't build new wheels. Copy old schemes

Dearest reader, I think of you

Copy this action. Fulfil dreams.

-ends-

The Photo album comical poem 753 by Angela Lansbury

 

Do you see that young man looking at me

That knowing look, of impish glee

You wouldn't believe the prizes I won

Such fun, you won't believe what I'd done

But now my lover has gone away

Old and bald, wrinkled and grey

I like to imagine him waiting for me

Impatiently, in purgatory

Now the men of my grand old age

Think that they are always right

And everybody else is wrong

They go out looking for a fight

Time moves on and life goes on

Maybe it's for the best, we wouldn't get on

And yet that photo tells the story

Of the joys of youth and our moment of glory

He made night day and he made day night

He made white black and he made black white

He made right wrong and he made wrong right

He made light dark and he made dark light

Do you see that young man looking at me

That moment caught by photography

Preserved as a permanent memory

Of the joy I was and will always be.

-ends-

Your Music Or Mine? Comical poem number 752 by Angela Lansbury.

Everyone good loves music

It can soothe you when you're sick

All kinds of music win applause

But I like mine - yet you like yours

I like trad jazz, but you like new

I don't know what I'm going to do

But if you have bought my ticket

I have to pretend I like it

Conductor's baton, banging drums

Announce something important comes

The orchestra starts tuning up

Like strong black coffee in white cups

We wait for music to begin

Co-ordinating violins

The smart black of the dinner suits

The gentle tooting of the flutes

The player paused at the piano

Is that someone I'd like to know?

Or someone I'd not like to know?

If they don't go, then I might go

He hears a swaying symphony

I hear modern cacophany ...

At last, the interval, the bar

Rewards patrons who've travelled far

Americans on a great vacation

Start animated conversation

From food and drinks we make a choice

That's the best use of my small voice

When all the bridges have been burned

What are the lessons I have learned?

That happiness is just the trick

Of pretending you like the music

The friend's voice which I love to hear

The loved ones who I hold so dear

Alive, and smiling with me here

That's the best music to my ear.

-ends-

Inspection of Collection, M & S Dress. Comical poem 751 by Angela Lansbury.

i

Indigo Moon jacket label above apron on desk chair back. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

I've clothes in every shade and hue

Red, orange, pink, purple, green, blue

In every style and kind of dress

From, Primark, Temu, M & S

From Ann Balon and Indigo Moon

They fill suitcases and the store room

Hung on hangers, folded on shelves

In the bedroom, bathroom, toilet as well

I've souvenirs from every place

Where suits, caftans and hats are made

Skiwear, tee-shirts, fake fur and lace

Tartan, polka dots, wool, silk, suede

I've button boxes, cotton and ribbon

Sequins, beads and elastic thread

On the floor, also overhead

On the chairs, even on the bed

I slit seams, cut, use safety pins

Every new use is a new win

Bid on ebay, save a dollar

Old toddler's skirt? A new collar!

I alter clothes, dye, cover stains

Like recycling, I take great pains

I love to count, and keep in order

Yes, you've guessed it, I'm a hoarder.

-ends-

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Limerick to Limerick. Comical poem 750 by Angela Lansbury. Learning The Irish Language.

 

Travel to Limerick

Limerick is supposedly where the limerick was invented.

Limerick for Limerick by Angela Lansbury

The limerick came from limerick

Easy to write and read, it's quick

Where it started we can't be sure

Let's write, sing and drink some some

You'll laugh, and hic and never be sick

Of the laughs which come from Limerick.

You can learn or refresh Irish Gaelic on Duolingo and other online language courses. The Duolingo starter lesson, which is free, teaches you to say, hear and recognise, and read the words, tea, coffee, sugar, and, please.

Language

Bilingual Irish and English sign in Wikipedia article on language. Photo by Darren J Prior

To get you started, here are some easy words which are the same or almost the same:

Irish - English

banana - banana

bus - bus

cat - cat

camp - camp

fork - fork

lion - lion

mug - mug

English - Irish

banana - banana

bus - bus

camp - camp

cat - cat

fork - forc

lion - lion

mug - mug

Useful websites on Irish Language

duolingo.com

https://en.wikivoyage.org/wiki/Irish_phrasebook

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_language

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lingui-Sticks-Language-Learning-Stickers-Educational/

translate google English-Irish Irish-English

Pronunciation in 3 Dialects, from Munster in the South to Ulster in the North

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X75ZGEytOJs

www.focloir.ie free dictionary English-Irish and Irish-English with pronunciation you can listen to

-ends-

Please follow my blogs on travel, dress and comical poetry, and share links to your favourite posts.

St Patrick's Day. Comical poem 749 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Expect celebrations near and far. In pubs such as Wetherspoons, green hats to be bought or given to patrons.

Customers wear green clothes and items with Irish words and jokes.

Trafalgar Square in the centre of London has music, dancing, and food to buy.

You can buy Irish items from supermarkets and party shops.

St Patrick's Day hats on Amazon.

Expect celebrations in pubs and major cities in the UK, USA, Australia and Singapore. Check your local newspapers, TV stations, the internet and YouTube and Wikipedia. In previous years cities in the USA have sold green drinks and Chicago even turned the river green. Expect worldwide jollity, and people singing in public and on public transport in London in the evening.

If you are entertaining, you can download suitable green borders and symbols for invitations and menus.

You can look for the tunes and words of popular Irish songs to play as background music at the start o meetings and meals and celebrations.

Celebrate St Patrick's Day 

by Angela Lansbury

St Patrick's Day the Colour green

Is on the pubs in every scene

The brightest green you've every seen

In drinks, on chairs, balloons and hair

The colours green, orange and white

Are sure to bring all great delight

Drinking by day, singing by night

And smiling all night til daylight

In some cities you see parades

New Yorker smile and wave all day

Singapore - hats given away

At pubs which wanted all to stay

Chicago turns its river green

And green drinks make the weirdest scheme

Different things in different places

Green on spectacles and faces

Ireland has a lucky shamrock day

Montserrat has a holiday

Each country celebrates its way

With bagpipes, harps, or dance all day

I see that opportunity knocks

Although I do not dye my locks

That would give all my friends a shock

I'll wear green ties, or frocks and socks

Afterward I'll store them away

And send emails in which I say

My box of Irish goods will stay

Locked in box rooms til Patrick's Day.

Green four leaf clover sandals. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Travel

For travellers, in addition to celebrations on the day, visits of interest include 

1 churches associated with St Patrick, and 

2 Guinness tours in Dublin, Eire, and London, England. 

You can learn or refresh Irish Gaelic on Duolingo and other online language courses. The Duolingo starter lesson, which is free, teaches you to say, hear and recognise, and read the words, tea, coffee, sugar, and, please.

Language

Bilingual Irish and English sign in Wikipedia article on language. Photo by Darren J Prior

Useful websites on St Patrick's Day

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_a_Great_Day_for_the_Irish

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick%27s_Day

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_cream

https://opengatelondon.guinness.com/en/tours

Irish Language

duolingo.com

https://en.wikivoyage.org/wiki/Irish_phrasebook

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_language

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lingui-Sticks-Language-Learning-Stickers-Educational/

-ends-

Please follow my blogs on travel, dress and comical poetry, and share links to your favourite posts.