Tea For Three With Me: comical poem number 722 by Angela Lansbury

Breakfast

Traditional English breakfast

Porridge oats, sugar or honey

Then baked beans, egg and bacon grill

Hotels give this thrill, for money

For daily grub go to the pub

Avoiding big hotels' big bills

Choose sausages and black pudding

Fried potato, and tomato

Lunch

For lunch you could choose a Scotch egg

Sardines on toast, a healthy fish

Fish and chips is what we like most

Sundays Yorkshire pud with beef roast

If you're adding roast potatoes

Careful. You'd better keep quiet

Please don't spoil my good gourmet day

By reminding me to diet

For weekday lunch we have salad

And smoked salmon in a bagel

Supermarket sushi, garlic

We buy half price when we're able

Tea

Each afternoon we stop at four

Or four thirty, or even five

By which time we're yawning and tired

Need food and drink to stay alive

Tea time in London"s any time

No longer always Earl Grey tea

We drink hot coffee, apple juice

Lemon, ginget or mint for me

 If you've never had hot crumpets

Your gourmet life has not begun

If you"re offered two with butter

Please don't stick to half or just one

Scones feature in Cornish cream tea

Spread thick cream, then strawberry jam

Some say you should put jam on first

Avoid arguing, if you can

We sometimes choose a restaurant

But most of our food's home made

We make brown bread with seeds and nuts

Seville oranges marmalade

We clear the table, wash the dishes

And load the dishwashing machine

It does a very good job

Of keeping our plates sparkling clean

Dinner

Then it's time to lay the table

And get ready for dinner

For me, it's brussels sprouts

Chicken and chips is a winner.

Plates of steak, add English mustard

Chocolate pudding, with custard

Christmas pudding, then easter eggs

Build balloon tums and tree trunk legs

Tea Tomorrow

I hope you'll come to tea with me

But I must tell you with sorrow

I ate the last baklava and chocolate

My fruit diet starts tomorrow.

-Ends-

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A Fun-Filled Funeral Tea comic poem 478 by Angela Lansbury

 I do enjoy a funeral tea

So long as the folks aren't related to me

Two died well passed ninety

So there's more years for me

We collected a crowd

So no-one feels alone

Grandchildren have painted

Cute calling card stones

Painted stones on gravestone. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Besides a stone setting's a year further on

When you've almost forgotten the one who has gone

We get lost on the way to the old cemetery

But turned up on time to the funeral tea

At weddings you have to dance like a clown

But at funeral teas you may stay sitting down

I don't need port, nor coffee, nor tea

Three kinds of cake looks enough to me

I ate bagels with tuna, 

Marbled sandwich, healthy cucumber

And chocolate croissant

Some had apple under

A friend with two wives

Four children, two dogs

List names of sons' girlfriends

I need a long log 

We talked of our travels

Wines from other climes

And our future plans

Naughty childhood times

I admire a child's Lego,

Then it's time to go

Goodbye - recall names 

Of those we hardly know

What did I like the best? 

Old friends in good mood

Forget marble gravestones, 

By eating good food.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury Wednesday October 30th 2024