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Wednesday, September 30, 2026

You Choose Happy Words. Comical Poem 866 By Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury.


Your words will chooose

If our lives meet

Words shake my hand

Or push my feet


Speak with your eyes

Words from your lips

Offer choice, like 

Salad or chips


Good words you choose

Predict we'll meet

Do your words smile?

Your poems greet?


Your poem's just

A set of words

Just one tells me

Should you be heard?


Which mood to choose?

One glance, I'll know

Should I linger?

Or quickly go?


One false, glum word 

And I'll be gone

Say one good word

And I'll stay on


One negative

I turn the page

One happy word

I'll share your stage


Questions can be

Just a decoy

I'm looking for

A word of joy


A happy way

To start my day

Choose win or lose

Your choice, you choose


So I will share

A happy note

To be depression's 

Antidote


Strike out words which

Sound negative

Always end with

The positive


A laugh, a smile

Cheerfully say

I'm glad you stopped

Have a great day


I hope my words

All positive

Will show you how

We all should live


If just one person's

Mood, day, I save

My adult's thoughts

Like one child's wave


Will make you jolly

Happy, and brave

A wave of joy

A summer wave.

-ends-

Autumn has a Smile Day.

I started my day feeling happy. Then I opened the first page of somebody's poem, a depressing rant.  I shut their poem and started my poem. Why should I ruin my day with his or her depressing poem? I thought, I'll write a positive poem, telling other poets politely, to be positive.

Monday, September 28, 2026

Poems Like Speeches comical poem 865 by Angela Lansbury

Birthday cake at restaurant in Pinner, Middlesex. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


Birthday cake, decorate, with heart

A candle to glow, light the dark

The symbol of a birthday gift

Clean green, and warm red, spirits lift


 Good poems should be like fine speeches

Which everyone can remember

Because of the message each teaches

More joy each time it's dismembered


The words should be simple and clear

The thought clear and bright as daylight

Every verse, sentence and word

Should strike major chords when it’s heard


Dissecting speeches, cutting cake

Each person chooses what to take

And everyone finds something good

To satisfy and lift your mood


Don't put a foot wrong, nor stay too long

A poem should be like an old friend

Always there when it is needed

But brief, know when meetings should end.

-ends-

This poem was updated and revised with additional first and fourth verses on October 10th 2026. 

The poem has eight-syllable lines.

When do you need a hyphen? Eight-syllable has to be hyphenated to show that eight refers to the syllables not the lines. 

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https://hod.toastmastersclubs.org/

Scarecrow. Comical poem 864 by Angela Lansbury.

 My blouse and jacket, both in white

Glow like a beacon in the night

Like a scarecrow designed to fright

Yet welcoming in kind daylight


If I came back as a friendly ghost

A blessing not given to most

I'd like to dress fine as a bride

Whose blemishes the night would hide


I might come back on Halloween

When all the best dressed ghosts are seen

In a contest I'd win the prize

Be named the Queen of Halloween.

-ends-

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Thursday, September 24, 2026

Where Has My Spider Gone? Comical Poem 863 by Angela Lansbury.


Bathroom spider's cousin in the kitchen. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


 Alas today my spider's gone

If I see flies, yes, even one

I'll go to my bathroom and mourn

Pray: Dear spider, where have you gone?


Are you hiding in fly spray fug?

Or hiding underneath the plug?

There's nothing that my day will lack

If you, dear spider will come back.


Whilst I am sleeping in my bed

I hope you'll build your spiders web

'though I'm sad when a dinner dies

I wish you health and lots of flies.

-ends- 

Posted with two verses on Friday September 25th. Updated with third verse on Saturday September 26th 2026

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Who Are My readers? - Ask AI. Comical Poem 862 by Angela Lansbury

 


I'm glad to see my readers grow

Numbers of readers, glad to know

What do I do right? Wonder why

I know - I shall ask AI!


Bad news, I do not have a lot

Most of my reader are just bots

But my poems are a success

I've got lots more bots, and not less.


Oops, obviously not less but fewer

Grammarly will correct my grammar

So, why waste - precious hours on this?

Will AI write posts quickly, for a kiss?

-ends-

The Small Spider (In The Bath) - One-sided Conversation. Comical Poem 861 by Angela Lansbury.


Bathroom spider's cousin in the kitchen.  Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

 I saw a spider in the bath

I saw it after I got in!

I do not think the world is fair

I'm being punished for what sin?


I'm being punished for no sin

That's why the spider's very small

And sits unphazed on the white wall

It does not move. It is not scared.


That spider is going nowhere

Agreed. Bath's big enough to share

I'm not sure what we're going to do -

'I'll take a shower - whilst watching you'


I ask the spider,'Go, please go.

I'll stay here, standing by the window

I'll be quick, promise, 2 minute showers

Then you can stay here several hours


'Your presence here is a surprise

D'you realize your job's catching flies?

I don't yet see a spider's web

I hope you're not an empty head!'


How does a spider learn to spin

Instinctive? Or Mum's training him?

'I'll let you go, or stay and lurk

If you catch flies - that's spider work.'

-ends-

Please read my other poems and share links to your favourite poems.

Thursday, September 17, 2026

AI - Ask Gemini Reviews Angela Lansbury's comic poetry video. Comical poem 860 by Angela Lansbury.

I asked Ask |Gemini to tell 

Me if I'm doing well

I asked it, Have I stuck to themes?

Am I obscure - d'you know what I mean?


I'm so impressed how it can analyse

Does it flatter, or tell me lies?

Or copy from other reviews?

I hope not, 'cos it's all good news


I've good reviews, now I can boast!

AI's read before my breakfast toast

I do not want to be misleading

But at least one robot's reading


What's the next thing I should do?

Put on my book my great review!

'My reader says I'm very funny

I promise I didn't pay it any money.' 

-ends-

AI Gemini reports on Angela Lansbury's comical poetry

AI reviewed an old video on You Tube in which William Brougham interviews Angela. (I must put this in the You Tube comments):

 This video highlights Angela Lansbury discussing her comical poetry, making it a great resource for seeing her approach to verse firsthand:Angela Lansbury’s comical poems—published on her blog—blend playful humor, lighthearted observations, and rhyme-based structures.

Everyday Life & Domestic Humor

Many poems highlight quirky, relatable aspects of daily routines, health, and aging.

Health & Aging: 

Topics range from physical ailments and doctor visits in Symptoms and Pills to humorous reflections on growing older in Do You Look Your Age? and So Expensive - So Cheap.

Home & Daily Quirks: 

Everyday objects take center stage, whether giving a voice to fixtures in The Bathroom Speaks, praising bedroom comfort in Back To Bed - Mine's The Best, or finding humor in fashion and footwear in Funny Hats and Cats and Neat Feet.

Language, Rhyme & Writing

As a prolific writer, she frequently explores the craft of poetry itself, turning the process into a comedic meta-commentary.

Poetic Form & Structure: 

Works such as How To Write The Perfect Poem, Read And Write A Limerick, and How To Write A Sonnet dissect poetic rhythm, syllable counts, and couplets in a lighthearted, instructional style.

Wordplay & Mishearings: 

Poems like Changes: Funny Birds And Words Misheard and Easy German Words With Memory Aids play with language learning, misread phrases, and linguistic oddities.

Travel, Transport & City Living

Travel and commuting offer regular fodder for humorous scenarios and public observation.

Public Transit: 

Poems like The Underground, What You Gain On The Train, and Words & Signs Warn On The Bus And Train capture the shared experience, odd etiquette, and minor chaos of public transit.

Vacations & Journeys: 

From missed trains in I Miss My Train to holiday misadventures in Volcano You Shouldn’t Know and Writers' Holiday, travel provides a vibrant backdrop for unpredictable setups.

Nature, Animals & Whimsy

Lansbury frequently incorporates animals, nature, and imaginative scenarios to create light, entertaining verse.

Animals & Pests: 

Creatures—both beloved and annoying—appear in poems like Are Mice Nice?, Daddy Long Legs, and The Toy Mouse In The House.

Seasonal & Outdoor Themes: 

Short, whimsical observations on nature run through poems like Rain's Good For The Garden, Autumn and Christmas, and I Read A Poem To A Rose.

This video highlights Angela Lansbury discussing her comical poetry, making it a great resource for seeing her approach to verse firsthand: 

Link to Angela Lansbury interview by William Brougham

Poetic Comedy with Angela Lansbury pt 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NMZEnsscDA

Please read my other poems and share links to your favourite poems.

First Aid Kit comical poem 859 by Angela Lansbury

First aid kit. Photo by Angela Lansbury.


 I have a first aid kit

But what is inside it?

We should not hide it

High up on the wall


Most days glad to say

We don't need it at all

But for help peep inside

If you have a small fall


The instruction booklet is

Full of surprises

Waterproof sticking plasters

In three handy sizes


I remember from childhood

On a day which was wetter

If I slipped on leaves

Mother's kiss made things better


Think of my poem

What is behind this?

The sunshine of words

Which blow you a kiss.

-ends-

Please read my other poems and share links to your favourite poems.

Wednesday, September 16, 2026

A Happy Poem. Comical poem 858 by Angela Lansbury

 


I opened a newspaper and read about distress

I opened my wardrobe and saw a pretty dress

Why am I bothered about people far away?

Let them ruin their neighbourhood, not my lovely day 


I ask myself questions to which the answer's yes

Do I see sunshine and flowers? The answer's yes

The Chinese greeting is asking, did you eat?

I forget. Think of chocolate, meringue, shops full of sweets


Let's recap. Is the sun shining? It is. The answer's yes.

Did I eat today? I guess the answer's yes

Forget the past, future, think about this place

Just look in the mirror. Smile at my smiling face.

-ends-

Please read my other poems and share links to your favourite poems.

Thursday, September 10, 2026

How To Write The Perfect Poem. Comical verse 857 by Angela Lansbury



Counting on fingers. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

 I write a poem every day

And after ten years I can say

At last I've grasped rhythm and rhyme

Enough to do it every time


I count on fingers eight or ten

Another line, you count again

Like pairs, couplets, each syllable

Fills up the page until it's full


I count syllables in each line

Numbers of lines, complete the verse

Tomorrow will be better still

I'm better if yesterday's worse 


Today I saved myself some time

Before I start, I plan the rhyme

It is amazing what I know

I wish I'd done that years ago!


The alphabet I don't forget

Find rhymes, race through the alphabet

From climb to dine to fine to wine

I now can do that every time. 


Long ago homework was a chore

Counting syllables was a bore

I'm glad to say that now it's fun

So satisfying when it's done.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

The Perfect Policeman. Comical poem 856 by Angela Lansbury


Toy policeman with toy car. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Detectives do dull paperwork

Dates, times, alibis, which we shirk

They look for two 'facts' which don't match

Alert, for criminals to catch


But in the daytime you don't meet

Enough policemen in the street

When there's too many, you complain

But too few - bring them back again!


Who can you call when others sleep?

Who stays calm when you wail and weep

But when there's fighting all about

Expect to get police who shout!

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Autumn and Christmas by Angela comical poem 855 by Angela Lansbury

 

Xmas Santa bag. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Autumn brings the north winter chills

The sniffles, flu and winter ills

Turn heating on, prepare for bills

Granddads, please write or revise wills


Days shorter, darker, longer nights

New seasons brings children delights

Halloween, pumpkins, biscuit frights

Street decorations, trees, Christmas lights.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.


 

Funny Hats and Cats. Comical poem 854 by Angela Lansbury


Angela Lansbury. Selfie.

 I don't care if you're thin or fat

I love it if you wear a hat

A funny hat or funny cap

Amusing slogans, cartoon cats


Colourful clothes which make me laugh

Two matching tee-shirts, each one half

Even repeating an old joke

But better if it is bespoke


Making me laugh at me or you

Or silly things which people do

Souvenirs from train stations

All nations, start conversations.

-ends-

Pleas follow my blogs on funny poems, travel and dress. Share with friends, family and colleagues links to your favourite posts. I would also welcome commends.

First day of Holidays - Rewritten Several |Times. Comical Poems 853 By Angela Lansbury




Today's rewrite is 

On the first day of my holiday I drew a little tree

Two little faces

Three palm tree places

four little cats

five little hats (or bats)

six little dogs

seven little frogs

eight mouths singing

nine arms swimming

Ten little hens


Next version

six dog tails wagging

seven old beds sagging

eight swimmers swimming

nine runners winning

ten climbers climbing

eleven diners dining

twelve drummers drumming


Previously I wrote this 

I was thinking that songs for children should be up-to-date and educational. I want to update a numbers song. I thought of the first day of Christmas.

It was published in 1780 so it is out of copyright. There's a website called songfinder. But I decided it was safer to use Wikipedia. I found the words

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree. 

My updated version 1 Holiday with Parakeets starts:

On the first day of Christmas please draw for me

A parakeet in a pear tree

On the second day of holiday please draw for me

two cats and two red roses

three dogs with big eyes and tails and noses

four flower posies

five little fishes

six bowls and dishes

Seven swans all swimming

Eight cows and milking

nine children dancing

Ten gymnasts leaping

Eleven pipers piping

Twelve drummers drumming.


Version 2 On the First Day of Holidays In A Park

During the first day of holidays I went to the park

On a bright afternoon, before it it got dark

We swam in one heated pool

Had two cold shower to stay cool


version 2 On the first day of holidays In a Park

We rode on one wooden donkey

And climbed up two nets like a monkey

Walked on three old brick walls

Making sure we didn't fall


Version 3

We swung on one swing

And climbed up two sets of ropes

We ran through three tunnels

Asked for ice cream, full of hopes


Version 4 Holiday Break By the Lake

We rode on one little train

Which went round twice and round again

We saw three people walking dogs

By ponds with four fish and more frogs


Version 5 Holiday at Soft Play

We went to soft play at a zoo

Saw an animal or two

I saw one long-eared rabbit

Which had a chewing carrot habit

I saw two happy goats

Smiling at me by the moat


I saw three little sheep

Their white wool was very deep.

It grew dark and we were tired 

From running with toys we'd acquired.

That was the most delightful day

Which started our long holiday

Ending it was such a sorrow

But we'll have more fun tomorrow.

***


And once someone fell on muddy ground

For five minutes cried, wailed, dreadful sound

Their Mum found mermaid sticking plaster

Soon I heard giggles, lots of laughter


Then we were yawning, and ready for a sleep

At the end of the day, my eyes could hardly keep (yawn)...


So we fed animals good food

Grandma said, we must go away

I wave goodbye to pigs and say 


I promise to all of you

Grinning goats, my dears, 

Dry your flowing tears, 

Calm your alarming fears


We promise we'll come back again

To feed the ducks, and geese and hens

To feed and play

Another lovely day.


-ends-

Dears hints at deer.

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Tuesday, September 8, 2026

On The First Day Of Christmas Please draw for me. Comical poem 852 by Angela Lansbury

 

Photo of Xmas tote bag. By Angela Lansbury. 

I was thinking that songs for children should be up-to-date and educational. I want to update a numbers song. I thought of the first day of Christmas.

It was published in 1780 so it is out of copyright. There's a website called songfinder. But I decided it was safer to use Wikipedia. I found the words

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree. 

My updated version starts:

On the first day of Christmas please draw for me

A parakeet in a pear tree (or A parrot in an apple tree)

On the second day of holiday please draw for me

two black cats and two red roses

three dogs with big eyes, long tails, black noses

four pretty flower posies

five funny little fishes

six filled bowls and fruit dishes

Seven swans, and cygnets swimming

Eight cows, cups of milk and drinking

nine little children dancing

Ten gymnasts bravely leaping

Eleven pretty pipers piping

Twelve little drummers drumming

Thirteen in a choir, humming

Hum-m-m!


During the holidays I went to the park

Just for the afternoon, it soon got dark

We swam in one heated pool

Had a shower to stay cool


We rode on a wooden donkey

And climbed like a real life monkey


We swung on one swing

And climbed up two sets of ropes

We ran through three tunnels

Asked for ice cream, full of hopes


We rode on a little train

Which went round and round again

We saw people walking dogs

And a pond with fish and frogs


We went to soft play at a zoo

Saw an animal or two

I saw one rabbit

Which had a chewing habit


I saw two little sheep

Their white wool was very deep.

It grew dark and we were tired 

From running around with soft toys we'd acquired


And once somebody fell on the muddy ground

For five minutes they cried and wailed a dreadful sound

But their mother gave them a mermaid sticking plaster

And soon they giggled and I heard lots of laughter


And I was yawning and ready for a sleep

At the end of the day and my eyes could hardly keep ...


So we fed the animals some food

But then grandma said we had to go away

So I waved goodbye to pigs and promised

Grinning goats, dears, we'll come back another day.


-ends-

Dears hints at deer.

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Monday, September 7, 2026

The Bathroom Speaks. Comical Poem 851 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Bathroom basin.

Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


At night when I take a walk

I dream the bathroom fittings talk

The carpet feels my large warm feet

And comments every time we meet


Imagine fittings don't forget

But love visits and take a bet

'Our room's important, we shall see ...'

'Sh, here she comes to fondle me!' 


'Hooray, householder's coming back.'

'I bet she'll pee,' 'I bet she'll crap'

'The body parts we must not mention

But, ooh, we do love attention!'


'Toilet's important, crushes mush

And has a satisfying flush ...'

'Turn me, I'm ready, here, hot tap'

'Hooray, my turn, she's coming back.


'I'm pretty towel, lovely, soft'

'I'm toothbrush, please lift me aloft.'

'I'm toothpaste, over here, please.

I love it when I get a squeeze!'


'She done, hooray, we all feel rich'

'Lastly, it's me, I'm the light switch

Whether you're clean, or have been sick

I give a satisfying click'


'I hope you like our happy rhyme

Goodbye, householder, till next time!'

-ends- 

Every time I write a poem, I am so pleased with it. I think, all the other hundreds of poems might be forgotten, but this one will be repeated, remembered and repeated, and give pleasure for centuries.

Which poem is your favourite?

I'd love to have a comment from you. Who was it who said, 'writers ask for criticism, but all they want is praise'? 

I asked Gemini. It was W. Somerset Maugham in his 1938 book Of Human Bondage. He wrote: 'when people ask you for criticism, they want praise'.

-ends-

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Saturday, September 5, 2026

The Toy Mouse In The House. Poem Number 850 by Angela Lansbury


Sleeping Unicorn Shoes. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


 Once upon a time, not so very long ago

In a house with big windows lived a happy. little girl

She wore a pink, princess dress, and shoes which looked like unicorns

And had hair with plaits, a fringe, and two long curls


She liked to write the alphabet

And numbers to a hundred, in a large white book

And draw flowers, and houses, colour people with black hair

Eat strawberries, do gymnastics, and microwave cook


She lived in a tall house with steep stairs and red chairs

At school she had lots of friends with yellow, brown, black and red hair

She climbed on frames in the park until it got dark

Walked home past shops with windows around a curvy bend


On a holiday, grandparents took her out for the day

To a sandy beach by a lake, with a pirate ship

She rode on a tiny train which went out, and back again

Then she had a big white ice cream and ate every bit


At bedtime her parents would read her a book

With pictures in rainbow colours, red, orange, yellow, green and blue

Some of the pictures told funny, silly stories

But the best books told you things which you knew were true


Her favourite book was about a mouse

Which had lived in Egypt, thousands of years ago

It was terrified of a tall, black statue of a cat

Which stood by a pyramid, near where the Nile River flows


She imagined the descendants of that small, scared mouse

Lived in the field by the forest, far behind her house

Near to the river, but far from the sea

Where they ran about freely, under a tall tree


At night she dreamed she held, for them, a birthday party

She prepared, cleaned the house, swept, then would bake

Wrap ribbons, tie bows on bead bracelet gifts for dolls and toys

And share with the small mice a nice, large, cheesecake birthday cake


She slept soundly all through the night

When all her fears of monsters drifted on clouds far away

So she woke to see the rain stopped, just lovely sunlight

So she could play outside on a great weekend day


Each day ends with dreams of curved moons and straight sunlight rays

Or playing outside by swings on a great weekend day

Her fearful monsters shrank, and floated off, on clouds far away

She slept soundly all night to end a satisfying day.

-ends- 

Inspired by my extended family. The sandy beach, pirate ship and train were at Ruislip Lido in North West London, England, UK.

A child's bedtime story ideally has soothing sounds and lots of monotonous repetition to lull you to sleep, and ends with an image of somebody sleeping.

Please follow my posts and share with your family and friends, children and adults, the links to my blogs, on travel, dress, and comical poem, links to your favourite posts and entertaining poems. 

My books are on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk and Lulu.com

You can peep into some of the books online. If you buy a book and see me at a meeting of Toastmasters in Harrow such as Harrovians or HOD, I will sign a copy of the book and write a rhyming couplet for you, or the recipient, in the dedication.

If you want me to write a poem on any jolly subject, please write to me in the comments in this blog. I would love to hear from you.  I have readers from all over the world, the USA, Singapore, Brazil, France, Bangladesh, Vietnam, Hong Kong, India, the UK, and many more countries - amazing, isn't it!


Tuesday, September 1, 2026

The Lovely Light. Comical poem 849 by Angela Lansbury

 


At night I'm thankful for the moon

But when day comes I'll love the sun

Next day in the hopeful morning

I'm glad to see fresh light's dawning


All day the sun, the same old sun

My same old words, new faces I teach

Each lesson, day, another one

New face, old words, same rules I teach




I like the candle which I rolled

Instead I use electric light

I love the light, so bright and white

The helpful light extends day's fun.

Feet and Toes. Comical Song 848 by Angela Lansbury.




Here's a story you should know

I said hello to my big toe

I have five toes on both my feet

Five plus five is ten, that's so neat


My big toe said I have a twin

We look alike, we're long and thin

Or short and fat, depending how

We stand and how you think of that


I must ask a simple question

I always really want to know

What time is it, do we start now

Where are we going to go?


I have four little friends

They always like to follow me

We like to go out for a walk

Until we stop somewhere for tea


I shall tell you my life story

I've always stayed close to my twin

We're similar but opposites

You may think that I look like him


I'm a very forward person

And I always step out first

Wherever I go, he'll follow

But I mostly get there first.


I like to walk but not to talk

I like to dance, I like to climb

I like shoes and socks and climbing rocks

And having a good time


My friend the head directs me

The head tells me where to go

But the head says I am important

And smiles at me, so that I know.


I may be hidden in a shoe

But I am always there for you

Ready to leap out of your bed

All through life help you get ahead.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite posts. My poems are in books on Amazon and Lulu with books combining funny poems and advice on structures such as ballads and sonnets and villanelles and writing poems easily in the Poetry Workbook.