Homophones comical poem 678 by Angela Lansbury

 

I phoned home with my homophones

Words which homo sapiens says the same

But spells differently, spellers' hell

But great for teachers or you're into word games

Let us start with simple letter a

They English grey, USA gray

We pray we won't be anything's prey

But just be gay with friends who are gay

Hamlet said to be or not to be

He was not thinking of a bee

When we went out to have a wee wee

Some say pee, which sounds like pea

You need to see letter c at sea

C turns to s when you add e

I must confess I'm in distress

The English practise practice, a mess in the mess

The letter d appears in dye

You dye cloth black when someone dies

We all say aye when we agree

And it looks good in our eyes

F and ph both sound the same

Steve, Stefan or Stephen is his name

After the feast of Stephen

Out with Eve on Xmas Eve, even-ing

My friend Jorge like gorgeous George 

They gorge food on the gorge

The hair or the heir is in the air

Ere we're here on the weir

Flag of Wales

I've never seen hump-backed whales in Wales

We haven't take pails beyond the Pale

We left our hanger in the aircraft hangar

And drove to Bangor in a small old banger.

.

-ends-

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There's the flee that flew

When I had the flu

The burnt hankies flew up the flue

There are two of them too

Coconuts Make You Nuts comic poem 225 by Angela Lansbury

Coconuts. Photo from Wikipedia.

Down by the cool blue swimming pool

The water's cool and I am cool

The trees provide a welcome shade

After my swim, sit in the glade

The unformed guide soon comes out

His job is walk about and shout

Not like a bride, more like a groom

With a brisk broom sweeping in each room

Maybe, 'cause he's always working

He sees me swim,  thinks I'm shirking

It's exercise, I tell no lies

Yes, a 'work out' must mean working

Coconuts under palms at Cashew Heights condominium Singapore. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 On trees coconuts are yellow

The Guard warns me, they'll soon mellow

Watch out, too late when they turn brown

For one by one they'll fall down

You never should sit underneath

Because one day you'll come to grief

I am too old to die, and wise

To accidents of any size

I am wary, sit here, sit there

This place, that place, this chair, that chair

My bed is where I'd like to die

That is why I'm coconut shy.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury September 14th 2023.

To help any foreign language speakers, the last line is a pun on a Coconut Shy, which is a game at a fairground where you throw a ball to hit a coconut off its support and win it.

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Rhyming Queen - Comic Poem 187b Too Fast by Angela Lansbury

 

👸

What do I aspire to be?

A rhyming queen. So follow me. 

I started this when trying to write a bilingual poem, which is more complicated, so I have put that in the next post.

A renowned bilingual queen

e

own

ort  

ort

-ends

comments

Begin with the end in mind. For the first time I have made a physical framework for a poem. I started it in my head, with the rhymes. Then I wrote down the two magic essential words in alternating lines. Why stop there? 

The simplest rhyme is a couplet. A sonnet has three four line verses, ending with a couplet. 

I first thought of the scheme of a villanelle, which has sets of three lines, ending with a couple. ending iwth alternating rhymes, ending with a couplet, I can write a whole poem scheme with the word, or at least the rhyme choices, at the end of each line.

I could add a chart with columns and lines and the rhyming scheme, a and b, or starter rhymes, written in. You could take a traditional out of copyright song and remove all the words which don't rhyme, then either write a totally new poem with the original rhymes, or write in different rhymes, or all the words which rhyme. 

Let's take Twinkle twinkle little star as an example.

.. .. .. star

.. .. .. are

, ,, , ,, high

.. .. .. sky.

Firstly, you could reverse the rhymes

are

star

sky

high

Or you could choose another set or words with the same rhymes

... car

... far

...why

... high

Or list all the possible rhymes ending with the same letters

bar, car, far, tar,  

bar, car, far, tar,  

buy, bye, die, fly, guy, high, lie, my, nigh, pie, rye, sight, tie (verb), tie (noun), vie, why

buy, bye, die, fly, guy, high, lie, my, nigh, pie, rye, sight, tie (verb), tie (noun), vie, why

Here's a parody of Twinkle, twinkle little star, same rhyming scheme for a cautionary tale. I didn't intend to write a cautionary tale, but the first line led to the whole message.

Too Fast

by Angela Lansbury

If you drive too fast in a car

Alas, my dears, you won't go far

Best case a wheelchair, worst case die

In imaginary cars flying through the sky.

Set this task to a class of  30 pupils or to a set of thirty people at a writing circle. Or a game at a Christmas party with a tiny gift of a notebook from Daeso as a reward for the best effort, or buy a set of notebooks online at collective or wholesale prices and give each participant a reward for attending and effort.

You might get several pedestrian or failed rhymes which attract polite applause or groans. But if you get just one great result, that is good for the writer, entertaining for the other listeners, and can go in the magazine about your ornaization's year's events.

Books by Angela Lansbury, author, include:

Poetry Workshop workbook, first published 2008

Writing Poetry For Fun, first published 2008, republished in 2011

Animal Poems 2012

see lulu.com and amazon.com

We saw a Dinosaur, published in 2013

 ...

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A Good Sight For Your Site's Insights

Beware of bare bears.

A Good Sight For Your Site's Insights

I'll share my thoughts, like well-kept shares
Be bold and bare what I can't bear
Writers who mix up there and their
And mix the mix of Ware and where

Some poor souls are not poor, but pour
Their hearts out like bleeding harts, uncertain
Whether to hang themselves
Or just be hung like curtains

I shall not keep you hanging on
For you may be as busy as a bee
And keep on trying to earn your keep
So my dear friend please note this note

I'm near the end, the end is nigh,
Di's die is cast, it's do or dye
Pat pats my hand, there there, that's that
I'll send the dear deer end, and end - just like that.
-ends-
Angela Lansbury
Copyright  2019
Shared to the website of D G Kaye

Hi God, a poem by Angela Lansbury on Does God Exist In Gardens

Hi God by Angela Lansbury

 "Does God exist in gardens, Gran? 

Looks like the devil's out there, too 

If you like bites from mosquitos 

Sorry to say I'm not with you!" 

 "Let's look around our garden, child 

Then you'll be sure there is a God "

Invite your friend to I take a look

 Under a log; bulbs, worms in sod ..."

 I pick a rose, scratched by a thorn I dodge, we see a honey bee 

Pick blackberries, dress stained and torn 

A bee, or wasp, starts chasing me ... 

 We try to hide behind a tree

 

I move a plant pot, ear wig, louse 

It doesn't even take a snake 

Slugs drive us back into the house

 I try to smile and not to sigh 

"It's sunny, phone the family 

Try to be good, don't make a fuss." 

 "When we die what eats you and me?" 

 When health and safety call on us 

They check for mice, mosquitos, rats 

Bugs live outside, must look for holes

 Roaches invade kitchens of flats

 I sometimes think I should desist

 I would not want to lose a friend 

An agnostic or atheist 

Can see both sides and round life's bend 

 If firm belief secures one's fate 

Grandchild's debate makes blood run cold 

It's time to choose, not quite too late 

Don't lose faith now, 

Gran - you're too old! 

 My rose is pretty, its perfume 

Would make believers of the blind 

Yes, pinks, and blues brighten my room 

But bee's buzz, greenfly, change my mind. 

 Angela Lansbury. Copyright Saturday, 6 May 2017. 

Author's note Pinks are the colour of roses but also the name of another kind of flower. 

I started writing a poem about the mixed blessings of a garden. I changed the poem to one in which an atheist or agnostic grandma debates with a child. I added another verse and changed it again to the worried child trying to secure a place in Heaven for grandma.

About the author

Angela Lansbury B A Hons ACG ALB PM5 EH5 DL5 VC5 
The Author of several books, including  Etiquette For Every Occasion. Wedding Speeches & Toasts. How to be the Best Man. Quick Quotations. Who Said What When.

Blogs travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

translateforfun.blogspot.com

Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters Speakers Club Vice President Public Relations (VPPR), Previous President

Join BHA 1st Wednesday 7pm and 3rd Saturday 2 pm Singapore time. 

Vice President Public Relations (VP PR) of Tampines Changkat Advanced;

Secretary of weekly online Singapore International Dynamic Toastmasters Speakers’ Club;

Member and past president of Harrovians toastmasters club, UK; Past member of HOD Toastmasters, London. Past member in Singapore of: Toastmasters Club of Singapore (TCS); Tiarel; and Senja Cashew.

More details from Toastmasters International find a club.

Regular attendee at annual Swanwick Writers’ School, England.

Regular attendee at annual Writers’ Holiday, Wales.

Contributor to poetry readings, and after tea courses on: Speaking On Radio To Promote Books; and Plots And Character.

Winner of many club and area speaking contests in the UK and Singapore.

Language advisor to Empire Toastmasters club in Indonesia.

Language and speech workshops in Singapore.

Speaker on radio and TV in England, Scotland, the USA, and Australia.

Compiler of a school course on public speaking for teachers to prepare pupils for school open days with attending ceremonies before government ministers, Singapore.

Former member of Harrow Writers’ Circle, London, and two writing groups in Singapore.

Angela is on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter. She would be delighted to link up with new friends.

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