I think it's time I wrote of wine
It's pleasant and an easy rhyme
Rose, red, and a sparkling white
Great gourmet night when price's right.
The first important thing to do
Don't buy one vineyard, opt for two
Make savings by working large scale
Protect saplings from insects, hail
The wise and witty drunkards quote
Plant yesterday, a famous note
If you can't travel time, they say
The second best time's, plant today
Be patient, wait a year or two
Until the little grapes come through
Then snip excessive leaves away
But let those pea-size green grapes stay
In autumn harvest, students meet
To trample grapes with nice clean feet
Pay them a pittance, they are fine
With a glass of wine at dating time
If you don't have a team of aunts
Invest in metal bottling plants
Two years later, when wine's 'mature'
Remove 'lees' - sunk dredge of 'ordure'
Design a logo if you're able
Invest in a smart designer label
In secret cellars, every big box
Hides false names under strong locks
Start wine contests of every size
In one or two, win 'Gold first prize!'
Start sales from your cellar door
Weird bottles, openers, herbs, jams, more
If you want sales to go higher
Bribe a hypermarket buyer
Who knows the high spenders' faces
Adds tastings in newsworthy places
Your leaflets, books', sales pitch rehearsed
Sell best, good value, discount (worst)
Bad wine's still good, your reader knows
For bad meat stews and cleaning windows.
So now you know just what to do
I wish I could link up with you
I'm sorry to turn you away
I'm at a wine dinner today.
You book, don't turn up at the door
Pay twenty pounds, two hundred, more
You'll find me here, or there. I'm sure
Smiling, top table, on the floor.
-ends-
I tried various endings
Under the table, on the floor
Sat at the table, end on the floor
I had one syllable too many.
Please share links to your favourite poems. Poetry books by Angela Lansbury are on Amazon and Lulu.com
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