Toastmasters International
Holds contest twice a year
Clubs send best speakers to compete
At clubs or places central near
It's for fun, skill, not for money.
One contest is impromptus
Four speakers try to be funny
Perform with props. Then interviews
Judges have given in their vote
Ballot counters secret counting
Interviewed speakers self-promote
While the tension's mounting
I had my moment on the night
When they asked me to recite
That welcome invitation heard
Alas, I can't recall one word!
I improvised, just like a rap
Suddenly some rhymes came back
I'd just one minute left to speak
To be remembered half a week
'Here I stand upon this stage
Helping you turn your life's page
I hope that I shall be a winner -
Then I can go home - to dinner!'
I'd done the best that I could do
Impromptu rhymes, few and not new
Rhymes rushed, climbed, wave brave - just used half
At least my punchline got a laugh.
-ends-
I could have said home to Pinner, but that is personal and parochial, a place only known to local people, and only interests those who live in or near Pinner. Dinner is more general and affects everyone and is understood.
I had won first place in the Table Topics contest (impromptu 2 minute speech answering a question) at both my London clubs, HOD and Harrovians. In this contest I represented Harrovians. This gave the opportunity to the second place winner from HOD to represent HOD. If I had won first place, Harrovians could have claimed that their member won first place, representing them. But HOD could also have claimed that their member had won first place (not mentioning that I was representing the other club) because I could bring the benefit of my experience of participating to HOD members.
What did I learn? If you are a poet, always carry a copy of one of your best and shortest poems or couplets in your pocket, or memorise it, if you are likely to be interviewed at an event, or at any big meeting in case members of the audience are invited to speak, or volunteers are asked to speak.
If possible, plan a couplet about the event of location, season, or something which related to the audience, for an impromptu rap.
At the Area Contest I was placed second. Out of five. But I was the only one performing poetry out of nine. And the only one from my club of multiple members to be on that stage. Second of all the people in all the clubs of the area. As Woody Allen famously said, 80 per cent of success is turning up.
The humorous speech contest is at the start of the Toastmasters year, along with the impromptu speech, so it is open to all members of the club, including the new speakers. It is only national. The next contest, in springtime, is the International Speech, usually a motivational speech.
