The Cup On the Saucer Went Round And Round THE FISH ON THE DISH. Comical dinner Table poem number 771 by Angela Lansbury

 

Round Nedpresso saucer with square centre. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I was inspired by The wheels on the bus

. 

I changed the words to

THE FISH ON THE DISH

We sat at a table which was round

It was the largest one we found

The cutlery fell on the ground

With a dreadful, clattering sound

The cup sat on a saucer which was square and round 

The cup on the saucer went up and down

Up to my mouth which made a slurping sound

My mother told me, 'Put it down!'

I turned the spoon in my cup round and round

The cream was white but the sugar was brown 

The spoon made a dreadful squeaky sound

Much too long. The coffee was still too strong.

The water jug on the table went around 

It got lost and was never found

Somebody must have put it down

On another table or on the ground.

The sugar lump bowl went around 

Mum said, 'I've put on half a pound!'

She took three lumps, then put them down

Dad shook his head, pursed his lips, made a sighing sound.

The mixed fish cake on the dish went around 

Was it cod, salmon, tuna or trout?

Or an alien fish by another name

All doled from the same giant tin no doubt

To go with fish, the chips went round 

The tomato ketchup bottle went round

Dad shook it up, it went down his shirt

He said two short words, fish, fish?, Mum, looked hurt

The plate of pizza was passed round

So everybody took one slice

I pineapple pizza looked so nice

That I took two, nobody knew

The birthday cake had candle flames

The chef had mis-spelled both my names

We said never mind, Gradnpa's half blind, and passed the cake around

The sponge, jam, cream all soon went down

(At this point the poem took off in another direction)

The waiter said, 'Happy Birthday to me

I said, it's our anniversary

For my birthday last week, you made an anniversary cake

Anyone can make a mistake - but you made two mistakes

The box of chocolates passed around

But baby knocked them on the ground

You can't eat chocolates when they fall.

At home I washed and ate them all

I ordered coffee but got tea

I complained, 'both taste the same to me

Both taste like coffee-tea, the same

Where's the manager?' 'Gone home. Not to blame'

I asked, 'Why is this bill so large?'

They said, 'It's cos of our high service charge,'

I said, 'That's fine, I understand

There's always something underhand.'

-ends-

True story: Our Happy Birthday cake was given to a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary at the Alpine Restaurant, (in Bushey, London) - which later closed down.

Coffee-tea was a story told about some airlines. I thought it was a joke. But somebody who worked in the industry said it was true, to save time. 

 (More verses later on salt, pepper, bread, olives, ice cream, coffee, juice, milk, sweets)

Make up tea or dinner related words.

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Much too long was a parody of all day long.