My Funny Family
by Angela Lansbury
My family is very strange
But they are extremely funny
Some of them are obscenely rich
Won't help us who beg for money
My mother talked for twenty years
But never stopped to pause for breath
Father always smiled and nodded
Nobody noticed he was deaf
Dear Mum didn't think it mattered
After we lost my mother, dear
I asked my widowed Dad, 'Tea? Tea?"
And realised he could not hear.
My uncle played the violin
Better than all, than me or you
Won scholarships, played on cruise ships
A fine player, but stone deaf, too!
Played for radio, BBC
A fine player, not one wrong note
He left me books on lip-reading
He'd been deaf as an old, dead goat.
Poor Uncle's toilet filled with weed
He had no cash for a plumber
Instead he taught one the trumpet
Yet the toilets stank all summer
My son says, "You're the weirdest one
'Cos you write comic poetry!"
I can't see why he thinks I'm odd
My family's more strange than me.
by Angela Lansbury
My family is very strange
But they are extremely funny
Some of them are obscenely rich
Won't help us who beg for money
My mother talked for twenty years
But never stopped to pause for breath
Father always smiled and nodded
Nobody noticed he was deaf
Dear Mum didn't think it mattered
After we lost my mother, dear
I asked my widowed Dad, 'Tea? Tea?"
And realised he could not hear.
My uncle played the violin
Better than all, than me or you
Won scholarships, played on cruise ships
A fine player, but stone deaf, too!
Played for radio, BBC
A fine player, not one wrong note
He left me books on lip-reading
He'd been deaf as an old, dead goat.
Poor Uncle's toilet filled with weed
He had no cash for a plumber
Instead he taught one the trumpet
Yet the toilets stank all summer
My son says, "You're the weirdest one
'Cos you write comic poetry!"
I can't see why he thinks I'm odd
My family's more strange than me.
-ends.
Copyright Angela Lansbury, May 12 2017.
Copyright Angela Lansbury, May 12 2017.
Grammatically it should end more strange than I am but me rhymes. Poet's license.
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