Your Pilot Speaking

(See explanation and background to this poem on my travel blog.) To be performed wearing a cap with gold buttons. Your Pilot Speaking by Angela Lansbury

 "This is your co-pilot speaking
I promise we're leaving on time
I know you feel like you're dying
Just breathe deeply, and you'll be fine ..."

"This is your co-pilot speaking
I'm sorry about the delay
If you look out of the windows
You'll see goat herds on the runway

"We don't usually tell you
When we see a snake on the plane
I lift my feet in the cockpit
Calmly sigh, 'Oh no - not again!'

"Whilst I am waiting for the vet
I announce, 'We're waiting for parts ...'
I send for vets - and two doctors
Mine quickly checks my waltzing heart!

"We know you've paid lots of money
We pretend complaints don't cause stress
Altitude makes food taste funny
Crew clean toilets, they do their best

"I hope you enjoy a pleasant flight
A safe journey, a lovely day
Remember whilst you have a holiday
We're working, driving, smiling, all day."

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury April 21 2017 Sorry, readers - I typed this out as verse but it appears on the page you read without the breaks because somewhere I have clicked on showing the HTML which means I have to insert the instructions for line breaks. One day, when I've sorted this out, I shall go back and check and change every post. Meanwhile I have to rush off to meetings.