The Ark in the Park version 2

Noah started building his ark
All in secret, just for a lark
Near the dark woods and deep water
In a remote national park

But when building was nearly done
He grew tired of staying so mum
So called the family for fun
And said, "Let's take her for a run!"

They sailed around just as he'd planned
His boat, like a cruise ship, so grand
Unluckily when they reached land
The harbour master raised his hand

"You can't park that boat, not round here
It's far too large and far too near
I fear you'll cause an obstruction ..."
He stroked his chin in hesitation

Noah felt in pocket, no docket
But he had a gold coin or two
A bribe would get the man on side
He knew just what he had to do

He said, "You're good, but must act tough
Look, it's sunny, but waves are rough
We can't go, so could you move on?
Are these two, three, five coins enough?"

"The man looked over his shoulder
"Take them quick," said Noah, bolder
"Please be kind, don't raise the alarm
I promise, we won't do no harm

"We just need a lull in the storm
Good willing, we'll go in the morn
May I offer you tea inside?
Just take a look, have a free ride ..."

"No," said the man, "I must move on
Make sure by tomorrow you're gone."
Have a safe journey, wish you well
You ain't seen me. I'll never tell."

Waters rose. Noah slammed the door.
Stay or go? He still was not sure.
On balance, he thought, I'll wait, stay.
I've lost my map, don't know the way.

I'll get away with one more day!
Leave tomorrow, or two more days?
The sheep stop eating, the goats start bleating
What could he do? What should he say?

White, frothy waters splashed higher.
The sky grew grey. The drizzle was dire.
Mud sucked round - stuck in the mire!
Waves struck - the anchor floats away!

They drifted, circled days and days.
At last, dry flat land, they landed.
On a mountain top. "We're stranded!"
They all crept out and peered about.

Despite the flood, they're not alone.
They're in some other nation's home.
Dodos and dinosaurs are dead
Rabbits - and cockroaches - have bred.

Noah shows his boat, boasts his story
"Whales were huge, toothy sharks gory"
Lived on his tale 'til old'n' hoary
Found fortune, fame - eternal glory.
-ends-
Copyright Angela Lansbury. Sunday 18 August 2019.
I created version 2 by changing every line to eight syllables, adding some more thoughts, such as the number of coins and alliteration. I expanded the last couplet to four lines. I overwrote the first draft.

Then I read it to my husband.
However, my husband said he'd preferred the original version.

So I copied version 2, before saving it, reverted to draft in the hope of getting back version 1, saved version 2 as a new document. I went back to the (revert to draft) version 1 and made sure I had shortened it and recreated the the more conversational tone and uneven lines.

I would be interested to hear which version you prefer.  You need to read both versions twice. Why? Because if you read version 1 then version 2 you might prefer version one because on reading version two you have lost the surprise effect of reading it for the first time.